Tomaranai Jounetsu chapter 6
Apr. 26th, 2015 08:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yun_miyakeTitle : Tomaranai Jounetsu (Unstopped Desire)
Pairing : Juntoshi/Ohno-Kame/Sakumiya
Length : Chapter
Rating : PG
Genre : romance, drama
Disclaimer : it was just my imagination
Summary : Ohno Satoshi, a 29-year-old guy was ready to get married with Kamenashi Kazuya. But at the same time, someone from his past reappeared. Someone who made everyone flailed, including his best friend, and Ohno had to make a difficult decision for his life….
Unbetaed this time
Jun readjusted his scarf and tried to keep his body warm as the wind blew towards his direction. The sun had just set at the west sky, remaining orange and purple light. He was at the park, waiting for Sho. They exchanged text messages and decided to meet here and next, Jun had no idea where Sho would bring him. He couldn’t call it as a date since he hadn’t answered Sho’s proposal to become his boyfriend. Besides, Nino had been giving him cold-shoulder since he spotted the holding-hands accident in front of their apartment.
“Jun,” Sho appeared from nowhere and waved at Jun happily. The man wore a nice red sweater above his beige shirt; it was their first time to meet up outside the apartment and it made Jun nervous.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Sho said, smiling.
Jun shook his head and scanned his surroundings; there were a few couples at the park. It seemed that they also met here and continued to other places – it gave Jun a goose bump, he had never experienced this, he used to wait for his clients and Ohno at the Geisha House. He gulped as Sho grabbed his hand and guided him to walk away.
“Do you want to drink delicious coffee?” Sho asked as they got out of the park and headed the main street.
“That’s a good idea,” Jun agreed. He tried to pull away his hand, but Sho gripped it too strong.
“How’s work?” Sho asked.
“Everything’s good,” Jun said, remembering his avoidance towards Ohno. He heard from Aiba that Kame had left and nobody knew where he was. Jun wished that he didn’t need to hear anything about the teacher and his fiancé ever again, but he couldn’t. If only that laboratory incident never happened; maybe he and Ohno wouldn’t need to avoid each other, maybe they could have another lunch at the park.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t only Ohno’s fault. Jun was the biggest fool of them all. He came to this city to find Ohno, but once he learned that Ohno was going to get married to somebody else, he ruined everything. He couldn’t accept that; deep inside his heart, he wanted Ohno all for himself, he wanted to own that man – he had known it since the first time Ohno touched him, but he was too naïve to admit it.
Now, there was Sho; with his innocent love towards Jun, not knowing about Jun’s past. Sho simply knew nothing about him – they were completely strangers, but for some reason, Jun could sense that Sho’s feeling for him was sincere and pure. All they needed was to open up to each other, but Sho and Ohno were different. Sho couldn’t give Jun a strange vibration inside his heart like what Ohno did.
“Jun, we’re here.”
Sho’s voice seemed came from the deep abyss as Jun was still drowned in his own run of thoughts.
“Oh, this close?” Jun saw his surroundings and realized that it was not too far from Asterisk.
A cute maid welcomed them with her too-wide-smile and guided them towards empty seats at the left side of the shop. Jun tried hard not to imagine Ohno’s presence there; but the teacher’s face swam in his eyes. He saw a couple was holding each other’s hand on his way and visualized them as Ohno and Kame.
“We can drink many kinds of coffee here. I’ve come here with Satoshi for a couple of times,” Sho said. “That guy is a coffee freak,” he continued, chuckling.
Jun formed the plainest face as best as he could as Sho mentioned Ohno’s name. Being Ohno’s best friend, Sho must have known everything about the calligraphy teacher; unlike him – he had never asked anything related to Ohno’s personal life.
Sho finally let go off his hand and Jun accidentally sighed in relieve. Sho offered a questioning look, but Jun pretended that he didn’t see. He busied himself with the menu and mentioned his order almost immediately; he wanted this date to end as soon as possible and went home and drowned himself under his blanket to contemplate himself for being stupid.
“Have you heard about Satoshi?” Sho asked.
That was the last topic he wanted to discuss with Sho, but Jun nodded. “I heard from Aiba san,” he answered briefly.
“It never happened, the apartment massive destruction,” Sho continued. “I don’t know that much about Kamenashi kun, but he is a nice guy despite of his look. There must be something wrong between them.”
Jun avoided Sho’s gaze by paying attention on the busy waiters, he didn’t really listen to what Sho said. His head played the scene again, without him ordering it; the memory from that particular evening came out to the surface again, very clear.
“Alright, enough with their drama,” Sho extended his hand to hold Jun’s, “What about ours?”
Sho’s cheeks blushed as he spoke and if only they were in another circumstance – in another galaxy without Ohno Satoshi in it – Jun would have fallen in love to those amazing blushing cheeks.
“I don’t know,” Jun shook his head, “give me more time, Sho san.”
A disappointment crossed Sho’s face, but he still managed to smile. “Sure,” he said.
“Matsujun?”
Both of them turned to the owner of the voice; Aiba was standing tall before them – he grinned from ear to ear as he looked at them.
“Are you guys dating?” he asked. “I see now, why you never said yes on my dinner invitation,” Aiba said to Jun.
“Aiba san, we aren’t…”
“Sort of,” Sho cut, even when Jun hadn’t finished his sentence.
“Good luck then,” Aiba gave a soft pat on Sho’s shoulder. “I hope you two don’t end up like O-chan and Kame chan. They broke up right when they are about to get married.”
“Broke up?” Jun confirmed.
“That’s what I assumed,” Aiba shrugged. “Kame chan has been missing for a full week and there’s no sign that he will come back anytime soon.”
“Satoshi hasn’t told me anything,” Sho mumbled.
Aiba murmured an answer which heard like misunderstanding and lack of communication, but Jun didn’t feel like listening, and he stood up abruptly.
“I need to go to toilet,” Jun said, leaving the two men. He walked quickly towards the restroom and washed his face on the sink while gazing at his reflection. He was the reason of their separation; he had ruined Ohno’s life and here he was; pretending to be an innocent. What if Kame committed suicide? What if Ohno lost his right mind?
He must talk with Ohno properly. He wanted to apologize to the teacher for being an idiot; and he wanted to clarify that he didn’t mean to ruin their relationship. Yes, he would do that; he must let Ohno go and continued his own life.
They left the coffee shop an hour later; Jun was silent all the time, he didn’t know what to talk anymore. Everything mixed in his head and he didn’t know how to arrange them. Maybe he should accept Sho’s proposal and forgot his past with Ohno, and prepared himself to welcome a new path with the other man.
Sho walked him to his room and made sure that Jun found his key before leaving. Jun thought that Nino was already home because the lights were on, but the guy wasn’t there. Something had happened to his friend recently; he didn’t talk to Jun like he used to be. He only said his greeting and barricaded himself in his room. Jun thought that maybe he had done something that hurt Nino without him realizing it; but he couldn’t guess what it was.
Nino usually came home around 7 in the evening, but for these past few days, he returned home when Jun was already asleep. As the addition of his strange behavior, he didn’t have his breakfast at home and prefer going to work earlier than usual.
Nino had never acted like a child for as long as their friendship and it disturbed Jun to have him acting all weird like that. He stepped towards the empty living room and put his bag on the table. If only he knew that the situation would become more complicated after moving here; he would have chosen to stay in Kyoto.
***
Ohno had filled a form of missing person in the police station; he described how Kame looked like the best he could and answered a couple of questions the officer gave him. He returned home with low-spirit. Aiba had told him about Jun and Sho (he knew it from Nino as well, but the man informed him that Jun hadn’t given any answers) – it seemed that both of them were dating, in other words, Jun had agreed to become Sho’s boyfriend and somehow, it hurt Ohno. He didn’t know what should he say to Sho; he couldn’t congratulate him since he had a feeling for Jun – the feeling which led him into a separation with Kame. But, Sho was one of his closest friends; to where he went when he had no one listened to him. Sho was innocent because he didn’t know a single thing between him and Jun and he deserved to be with Jun and be happy together.
Even if Kame came back, he knew that the thing between them wouldn’t stay the same as it was. They would probably say good bye at the first chance and would never see each other again. Ohno couldn’t call himself as lonely; he was just confused about everything. He couldn’t see Jun again after the accident, that man just made him feel worse and worse, all because of a tiny but strong desire inside him which attached him to Jun.
The only companion he got was Nino. The young man told him about his broken heart unclearly, but Ohno could conclude that it was because of Jun and Sho. Nino had come twice to his apartment; it was obvious that he didn’t want to be alone with Jun at his apartment. He had taught Ohno on how to play a particular game – the only thing which could distract the young man from his problem. Ohno pitied him, but he was not in the capacity to give some help, because he was in miserable situation himself. They tried to forget the problems which lingered to them and laughed together; Nino was easy to talk with, and even though they didn’t meet that much, they were naturally became friends.
“I downloaded this game a week ago and got addicted right after,” Nino said. They were sitting together on the floor, he showed his phone to Ohno and the latter was taken aback when he saw the score.
“You are a game-freak,” Ohno chuckled. “I’m horrible in playing a game all my life, always suck at that.”
“My boss scolded me when he spotted me playing game at working hours.”
“Bad boy,” Ohno slid out his own phone and started downloading the game Nino had suggested. “We can play together now,” he showed it to the other.
Nino nodded and took Ohno’s phone to do some setting, right when the doorbell rang. Ohno craned his neck towards the door; he didn’t remember that he ordered pizza or something so if the guy was here to deliver it, he must have mistaken his address with the neighboring rooms. He hesitated for a moment, but when the bell rang again, he stood up and headed towards his door. He peeped outside and held his breath as he saw Jun there. Where did the guy get his address? The first thing popped into his mind was Sho’s name. He couldn’t bring his hand to the knob of his door; he was just standing there, thinking of how to talk to Jun.
As if facing the gallows, Ohno extended his hand to open the door for the man.
“Ohno san, good evening,” Jun greeted him. His voice was heard so formal, a sign that he hadn’t forgotten the thing between them.
“Jun, good evening,” Ohno returned the greeting and smiled, but he knew that his face only formed a stiff grin. “Please come in,” he gestured the man to enter the room. He gave him a pair of slippers, but Jun didn’t take it; his eyes were glued to Nino’s shoes at the entrance.
“Is Nino here?” he asked.
“Yes,” Ohno answered briefly, not knowing how to lie.
Jun ignored the slippers and dashed towards Ohno’s living room. He and Nino looked at each other, but the latter acted as if Jun wasn’t there, he continued whatever he was doing.
“You have been avoiding me, what’s wrong, Nino?” Jun asked.
“I’m not avoiding you,” Nino put down his phone and lifted his face; he formed a sad smile on his lips.
Jun heaved deeply and sat down beside his friend, “Are you sick of me?”
Nino shook his head.
Ohno saw them while crossing his hands in front of his chest; Jun didn’t know that he was the source of Nino’s miserable feeling and Nino was too afraid to tell it honestly because he didn’t want to hurt Jun. Ohno, of course, had no right to tell them what was wrong or right, but he didn’t want both of them misunderstood things and ended up in pain since losing a good friend was far worse than losing a lover.
“He’s sick of you,” Ohno said.
Nino’s eyes widened, but he said nothing.
“You know nothing about Nino, what kind of friend are you?” Ohno said again, not caring the fact that Jun might be so angry after this. “He’s suffering because of you. Your ignorance and self-center manner.”
He didn’t mean to say that and now he regretted it. Jun frowned, but he said nothing.
“J is so kind to me,” Nino mumbled after a few minutes of silence, “don’t blame it on him.” I’ll take a leave now,” he rose off of the floor, grabbed his bag and headed the front door. Ohno and Jun didn’t move an inch to block him, they let him go, limping forwards.
An intense silence between them was the worst thing; it hanged above them like a big balloon which was about to explode.
“I’m sorry for everything,” Ohno started. “I have no right to say that.”
“I’ve heard about you and Kamenashi san,” Jun cut him. “I’m the one to blame and I’m here to apologize. I will never stand on your way anymore; I don’t know that my stupidity will bring you to a miserable situation like what you are facing right now.”
Both of them drowned into silence again and when none of them showed any signs to speak, Jun finally rose and stepped slowly towards the door.
“I hope Kamenashi will come back soon,” he said. “We have to forget each other from now on.”
Ohno gulped hard, he wanted to say many things to Jun, but he didn’t know where to start. If he said that he could erase Jun from his mind; then it would be a big lie. If he said that he was happy that Jun finally found Sho; then it meant he tortured himself for the rest of his life.
Jun’s hand reached the door knob and turned it; Ohno could only watch him with blank stare. Maybe there was another future where Kame never existed and Jun was his from the very beginning. This apartment would be their home, Jun would cook in the kitchen meanwhile Ohno read some magazine in their living room, but all of those thoughts were just his imaginations. Jun closed the door behind him and left more than just emptiness to Ohno.
***
The clock seemed like mocking him; why it moved slower than usual? Ohno drowned his face to his pillow and tried to sleep again; it was a peaceful Sunday morning when he had no plan at all. He didn’t feel like doing anything or going somewhere or meeting somebody – maybe Sho. But, Sho might be having a date with Jun right now, cuddling each other on a narrow sofa. His own thoughts pissed him up and Ohno chose to sleep again; but his phone rang loudly from the living room.
The way it rang was different than usual; Ohno could feel the urge behind it and if he didn’t pick it up, whoever called him would never do it again. He dashed towards his living room and extended his hand to reach his phone; the number was unknown. Ohno pushed the answer button and attached it to his ear, the caller on the other line didn’t speak directly but waited for a good thirty seconds.
“Ohno kun…”
The voice was so familiar and he was kind of missing it.
“Kame-chan…”
“I’m sorry for what I’ve done,” Kame said. He seemed in a faraway place right now where finding a signal was a hard thing to do. “Perhaps, I’ll never go back.”
Silence.
“Where are you now?” Ohno asked, not knowing how to respond to the statement. He had guessed that it would happen, but imagining and facing the reality were two different matters.
“I can’t tell you, but don’t worry, I’m fine here. I can cook all I want and I don’t need to make a poker face, I can be myself,” Kame inhaled deeply and continued, “I’m sure you can face your days without me. You’re not a type who needs a company all the time.”
“ Well, I guess so,” Ohno said while gazing at their photo which was hanged on the wall. It seemed a hundred years had passed since they took that picture.
“Take care of yourself. I’ll cherish the time we had spent together, and I’m glad that I know you.” Kame’s voice was so light when he said that; he didn’t mention Jun’s name at all and he ended the call right after. The silence in the room felt too much heavy for Ohno; he stared to his phone screen, wishing for another call, but nothing happened.
Kame had decided to leave him and Jun had decided to forget him. He slumped onto his sofa and let his head reply Kame’s words. Maybe Kame was right; he never considered himself as a lonely person, he was just a man who couldn’t put his heart into one certain spot.
He decided to go somewhere; maybe playing pachinko on Sunday morning wasn’t a bad choice. He grabbed his jacket and a pack of cigarette, stepping outside to the cold air.
TO BE CONTINUED
a/n : We'll have Arashi screening today D
Pairing : Juntoshi/Ohno-Kame/Sakumiya
Length : Chapter
Rating : PG
Genre : romance, drama
Disclaimer : it was just my imagination
Summary : Ohno Satoshi, a 29-year-old guy was ready to get married with Kamenashi Kazuya. But at the same time, someone from his past reappeared. Someone who made everyone flailed, including his best friend, and Ohno had to make a difficult decision for his life….
Unbetaed this time
Jun readjusted his scarf and tried to keep his body warm as the wind blew towards his direction. The sun had just set at the west sky, remaining orange and purple light. He was at the park, waiting for Sho. They exchanged text messages and decided to meet here and next, Jun had no idea where Sho would bring him. He couldn’t call it as a date since he hadn’t answered Sho’s proposal to become his boyfriend. Besides, Nino had been giving him cold-shoulder since he spotted the holding-hands accident in front of their apartment.
“Jun,” Sho appeared from nowhere and waved at Jun happily. The man wore a nice red sweater above his beige shirt; it was their first time to meet up outside the apartment and it made Jun nervous.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Sho said, smiling.
Jun shook his head and scanned his surroundings; there were a few couples at the park. It seemed that they also met here and continued to other places – it gave Jun a goose bump, he had never experienced this, he used to wait for his clients and Ohno at the Geisha House. He gulped as Sho grabbed his hand and guided him to walk away.
“Do you want to drink delicious coffee?” Sho asked as they got out of the park and headed the main street.
“That’s a good idea,” Jun agreed. He tried to pull away his hand, but Sho gripped it too strong.
“How’s work?” Sho asked.
“Everything’s good,” Jun said, remembering his avoidance towards Ohno. He heard from Aiba that Kame had left and nobody knew where he was. Jun wished that he didn’t need to hear anything about the teacher and his fiancé ever again, but he couldn’t. If only that laboratory incident never happened; maybe he and Ohno wouldn’t need to avoid each other, maybe they could have another lunch at the park.
Nevertheless, it wasn’t only Ohno’s fault. Jun was the biggest fool of them all. He came to this city to find Ohno, but once he learned that Ohno was going to get married to somebody else, he ruined everything. He couldn’t accept that; deep inside his heart, he wanted Ohno all for himself, he wanted to own that man – he had known it since the first time Ohno touched him, but he was too naïve to admit it.
Now, there was Sho; with his innocent love towards Jun, not knowing about Jun’s past. Sho simply knew nothing about him – they were completely strangers, but for some reason, Jun could sense that Sho’s feeling for him was sincere and pure. All they needed was to open up to each other, but Sho and Ohno were different. Sho couldn’t give Jun a strange vibration inside his heart like what Ohno did.
“Jun, we’re here.”
Sho’s voice seemed came from the deep abyss as Jun was still drowned in his own run of thoughts.
“Oh, this close?” Jun saw his surroundings and realized that it was not too far from Asterisk.
A cute maid welcomed them with her too-wide-smile and guided them towards empty seats at the left side of the shop. Jun tried hard not to imagine Ohno’s presence there; but the teacher’s face swam in his eyes. He saw a couple was holding each other’s hand on his way and visualized them as Ohno and Kame.
“We can drink many kinds of coffee here. I’ve come here with Satoshi for a couple of times,” Sho said. “That guy is a coffee freak,” he continued, chuckling.
Jun formed the plainest face as best as he could as Sho mentioned Ohno’s name. Being Ohno’s best friend, Sho must have known everything about the calligraphy teacher; unlike him – he had never asked anything related to Ohno’s personal life.
Sho finally let go off his hand and Jun accidentally sighed in relieve. Sho offered a questioning look, but Jun pretended that he didn’t see. He busied himself with the menu and mentioned his order almost immediately; he wanted this date to end as soon as possible and went home and drowned himself under his blanket to contemplate himself for being stupid.
“Have you heard about Satoshi?” Sho asked.
That was the last topic he wanted to discuss with Sho, but Jun nodded. “I heard from Aiba san,” he answered briefly.
“It never happened, the apartment massive destruction,” Sho continued. “I don’t know that much about Kamenashi kun, but he is a nice guy despite of his look. There must be something wrong between them.”
Jun avoided Sho’s gaze by paying attention on the busy waiters, he didn’t really listen to what Sho said. His head played the scene again, without him ordering it; the memory from that particular evening came out to the surface again, very clear.
“Alright, enough with their drama,” Sho extended his hand to hold Jun’s, “What about ours?”
Sho’s cheeks blushed as he spoke and if only they were in another circumstance – in another galaxy without Ohno Satoshi in it – Jun would have fallen in love to those amazing blushing cheeks.
“I don’t know,” Jun shook his head, “give me more time, Sho san.”
A disappointment crossed Sho’s face, but he still managed to smile. “Sure,” he said.
“Matsujun?”
Both of them turned to the owner of the voice; Aiba was standing tall before them – he grinned from ear to ear as he looked at them.
“Are you guys dating?” he asked. “I see now, why you never said yes on my dinner invitation,” Aiba said to Jun.
“Aiba san, we aren’t…”
“Sort of,” Sho cut, even when Jun hadn’t finished his sentence.
“Good luck then,” Aiba gave a soft pat on Sho’s shoulder. “I hope you two don’t end up like O-chan and Kame chan. They broke up right when they are about to get married.”
“Broke up?” Jun confirmed.
“That’s what I assumed,” Aiba shrugged. “Kame chan has been missing for a full week and there’s no sign that he will come back anytime soon.”
“Satoshi hasn’t told me anything,” Sho mumbled.
Aiba murmured an answer which heard like misunderstanding and lack of communication, but Jun didn’t feel like listening, and he stood up abruptly.
“I need to go to toilet,” Jun said, leaving the two men. He walked quickly towards the restroom and washed his face on the sink while gazing at his reflection. He was the reason of their separation; he had ruined Ohno’s life and here he was; pretending to be an innocent. What if Kame committed suicide? What if Ohno lost his right mind?
He must talk with Ohno properly. He wanted to apologize to the teacher for being an idiot; and he wanted to clarify that he didn’t mean to ruin their relationship. Yes, he would do that; he must let Ohno go and continued his own life.
They left the coffee shop an hour later; Jun was silent all the time, he didn’t know what to talk anymore. Everything mixed in his head and he didn’t know how to arrange them. Maybe he should accept Sho’s proposal and forgot his past with Ohno, and prepared himself to welcome a new path with the other man.
Sho walked him to his room and made sure that Jun found his key before leaving. Jun thought that Nino was already home because the lights were on, but the guy wasn’t there. Something had happened to his friend recently; he didn’t talk to Jun like he used to be. He only said his greeting and barricaded himself in his room. Jun thought that maybe he had done something that hurt Nino without him realizing it; but he couldn’t guess what it was.
Nino usually came home around 7 in the evening, but for these past few days, he returned home when Jun was already asleep. As the addition of his strange behavior, he didn’t have his breakfast at home and prefer going to work earlier than usual.
Nino had never acted like a child for as long as their friendship and it disturbed Jun to have him acting all weird like that. He stepped towards the empty living room and put his bag on the table. If only he knew that the situation would become more complicated after moving here; he would have chosen to stay in Kyoto.
***
Ohno had filled a form of missing person in the police station; he described how Kame looked like the best he could and answered a couple of questions the officer gave him. He returned home with low-spirit. Aiba had told him about Jun and Sho (he knew it from Nino as well, but the man informed him that Jun hadn’t given any answers) – it seemed that both of them were dating, in other words, Jun had agreed to become Sho’s boyfriend and somehow, it hurt Ohno. He didn’t know what should he say to Sho; he couldn’t congratulate him since he had a feeling for Jun – the feeling which led him into a separation with Kame. But, Sho was one of his closest friends; to where he went when he had no one listened to him. Sho was innocent because he didn’t know a single thing between him and Jun and he deserved to be with Jun and be happy together.
Even if Kame came back, he knew that the thing between them wouldn’t stay the same as it was. They would probably say good bye at the first chance and would never see each other again. Ohno couldn’t call himself as lonely; he was just confused about everything. He couldn’t see Jun again after the accident, that man just made him feel worse and worse, all because of a tiny but strong desire inside him which attached him to Jun.
The only companion he got was Nino. The young man told him about his broken heart unclearly, but Ohno could conclude that it was because of Jun and Sho. Nino had come twice to his apartment; it was obvious that he didn’t want to be alone with Jun at his apartment. He had taught Ohno on how to play a particular game – the only thing which could distract the young man from his problem. Ohno pitied him, but he was not in the capacity to give some help, because he was in miserable situation himself. They tried to forget the problems which lingered to them and laughed together; Nino was easy to talk with, and even though they didn’t meet that much, they were naturally became friends.
“I downloaded this game a week ago and got addicted right after,” Nino said. They were sitting together on the floor, he showed his phone to Ohno and the latter was taken aback when he saw the score.
“You are a game-freak,” Ohno chuckled. “I’m horrible in playing a game all my life, always suck at that.”
“My boss scolded me when he spotted me playing game at working hours.”
“Bad boy,” Ohno slid out his own phone and started downloading the game Nino had suggested. “We can play together now,” he showed it to the other.
Nino nodded and took Ohno’s phone to do some setting, right when the doorbell rang. Ohno craned his neck towards the door; he didn’t remember that he ordered pizza or something so if the guy was here to deliver it, he must have mistaken his address with the neighboring rooms. He hesitated for a moment, but when the bell rang again, he stood up and headed towards his door. He peeped outside and held his breath as he saw Jun there. Where did the guy get his address? The first thing popped into his mind was Sho’s name. He couldn’t bring his hand to the knob of his door; he was just standing there, thinking of how to talk to Jun.
As if facing the gallows, Ohno extended his hand to open the door for the man.
“Ohno san, good evening,” Jun greeted him. His voice was heard so formal, a sign that he hadn’t forgotten the thing between them.
“Jun, good evening,” Ohno returned the greeting and smiled, but he knew that his face only formed a stiff grin. “Please come in,” he gestured the man to enter the room. He gave him a pair of slippers, but Jun didn’t take it; his eyes were glued to Nino’s shoes at the entrance.
“Is Nino here?” he asked.
“Yes,” Ohno answered briefly, not knowing how to lie.
Jun ignored the slippers and dashed towards Ohno’s living room. He and Nino looked at each other, but the latter acted as if Jun wasn’t there, he continued whatever he was doing.
“You have been avoiding me, what’s wrong, Nino?” Jun asked.
“I’m not avoiding you,” Nino put down his phone and lifted his face; he formed a sad smile on his lips.
Jun heaved deeply and sat down beside his friend, “Are you sick of me?”
Nino shook his head.
Ohno saw them while crossing his hands in front of his chest; Jun didn’t know that he was the source of Nino’s miserable feeling and Nino was too afraid to tell it honestly because he didn’t want to hurt Jun. Ohno, of course, had no right to tell them what was wrong or right, but he didn’t want both of them misunderstood things and ended up in pain since losing a good friend was far worse than losing a lover.
“He’s sick of you,” Ohno said.
Nino’s eyes widened, but he said nothing.
“You know nothing about Nino, what kind of friend are you?” Ohno said again, not caring the fact that Jun might be so angry after this. “He’s suffering because of you. Your ignorance and self-center manner.”
He didn’t mean to say that and now he regretted it. Jun frowned, but he said nothing.
“J is so kind to me,” Nino mumbled after a few minutes of silence, “don’t blame it on him.” I’ll take a leave now,” he rose off of the floor, grabbed his bag and headed the front door. Ohno and Jun didn’t move an inch to block him, they let him go, limping forwards.
An intense silence between them was the worst thing; it hanged above them like a big balloon which was about to explode.
“I’m sorry for everything,” Ohno started. “I have no right to say that.”
“I’ve heard about you and Kamenashi san,” Jun cut him. “I’m the one to blame and I’m here to apologize. I will never stand on your way anymore; I don’t know that my stupidity will bring you to a miserable situation like what you are facing right now.”
Both of them drowned into silence again and when none of them showed any signs to speak, Jun finally rose and stepped slowly towards the door.
“I hope Kamenashi will come back soon,” he said. “We have to forget each other from now on.”
Ohno gulped hard, he wanted to say many things to Jun, but he didn’t know where to start. If he said that he could erase Jun from his mind; then it would be a big lie. If he said that he was happy that Jun finally found Sho; then it meant he tortured himself for the rest of his life.
Jun’s hand reached the door knob and turned it; Ohno could only watch him with blank stare. Maybe there was another future where Kame never existed and Jun was his from the very beginning. This apartment would be their home, Jun would cook in the kitchen meanwhile Ohno read some magazine in their living room, but all of those thoughts were just his imaginations. Jun closed the door behind him and left more than just emptiness to Ohno.
***
The clock seemed like mocking him; why it moved slower than usual? Ohno drowned his face to his pillow and tried to sleep again; it was a peaceful Sunday morning when he had no plan at all. He didn’t feel like doing anything or going somewhere or meeting somebody – maybe Sho. But, Sho might be having a date with Jun right now, cuddling each other on a narrow sofa. His own thoughts pissed him up and Ohno chose to sleep again; but his phone rang loudly from the living room.
The way it rang was different than usual; Ohno could feel the urge behind it and if he didn’t pick it up, whoever called him would never do it again. He dashed towards his living room and extended his hand to reach his phone; the number was unknown. Ohno pushed the answer button and attached it to his ear, the caller on the other line didn’t speak directly but waited for a good thirty seconds.
“Ohno kun…”
The voice was so familiar and he was kind of missing it.
“Kame-chan…”
“I’m sorry for what I’ve done,” Kame said. He seemed in a faraway place right now where finding a signal was a hard thing to do. “Perhaps, I’ll never go back.”
Silence.
“Where are you now?” Ohno asked, not knowing how to respond to the statement. He had guessed that it would happen, but imagining and facing the reality were two different matters.
“I can’t tell you, but don’t worry, I’m fine here. I can cook all I want and I don’t need to make a poker face, I can be myself,” Kame inhaled deeply and continued, “I’m sure you can face your days without me. You’re not a type who needs a company all the time.”
“ Well, I guess so,” Ohno said while gazing at their photo which was hanged on the wall. It seemed a hundred years had passed since they took that picture.
“Take care of yourself. I’ll cherish the time we had spent together, and I’m glad that I know you.” Kame’s voice was so light when he said that; he didn’t mention Jun’s name at all and he ended the call right after. The silence in the room felt too much heavy for Ohno; he stared to his phone screen, wishing for another call, but nothing happened.
Kame had decided to leave him and Jun had decided to forget him. He slumped onto his sofa and let his head reply Kame’s words. Maybe Kame was right; he never considered himself as a lonely person, he was just a man who couldn’t put his heart into one certain spot.
He decided to go somewhere; maybe playing pachinko on Sunday morning wasn’t a bad choice. He grabbed his jacket and a pack of cigarette, stepping outside to the cold air.
TO BE CONTINUED
a/n : We'll have Arashi screening today D
