Tomaranai Jonetsu chapter 7
May. 3rd, 2015 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yun_miyakeTitle : Tomaranai Jounetsu (Unstopped Desire)
Pairing : Juntoshi/Ohno-Kame/Sakumiya
Length : Chapter
Rating : PG
Genre : romance, drama
Disclaimer : it was just my imagination
Summary : Ohno Satoshi, a 29-year-old guy was ready to get married with Kamenashi Kazuya. But at the same time, someone from his past reappeared. Someone who made everyone flailed, including his best friend, and Ohno had to make a difficult decision for his life….
Unbetaed this time
“I’m going back to Kyoto,” Nino said.
It was almost 9 pm when Jun got home from Asterisk; he finished his job earlier actually, but a bully student had poured the floor with unknown liquid and he had to clean it for hours. He said his greeting and entered the room, he didn’t expect to find Nino there, busily folding his clothes and stuffed them into his suitcase.
What the hell had happened to Nino these past few days? The guy simply didn’t bother to explain anything to him and acted as if their friendship was going to an end.
“You’re not going,” Jun rushed to his friend’s side and gripped his wrist to prevent him from folding his clothes. “You stay, and explain to me what is going on with us. What I did wrong to you?”
Nino struggled free, but Jun didn’t let him go. “There’s nothing to do with you, J.”
“You’re lying. Just tell me what happened, will you?”
Nino’s gaze fell down at his suitcase; he inhaled deeply but said nothing. Jun and Nino had never fought for all their friendship; they accepted each other nearly like siblings and it felt so awkward to talk like this and Jun knew that Nino was as confused as he was.
“Is there anything that you can’t tell me because of good reason?”
Slowly but sure, Nino nodded.
Jun tried to think of any possibilities which made the other guy avoided him and something he had never thought before popped up in his mind. He was so much stupid for not realizing it – he was too concern over himself without caring about Nino’s feeling – just like Ohno said.
“Nino, is it because of Sho san? Do you have a crush on him?”
Nino chose to stay silent which frustrated Jun more than anything. If they hurt each other, then they wouldn’t be able to stay the way they were. Jun loosened his grip and sat down on the bed; it felt like a hundred years since they moved to Tokyo. It was his fault after all, for dragging Nino all the way here. He had no right to prevent Nino from going back.
“Talk to me, if you feel like doing it,” Jun said, leaving the bedroom and walked out of the apartment towards the empty street.
He spotted Sho on his way; Jun didn’t feel like talking to that man, so he hid himself behind a pillar and watched the apartment keeper entered the building main gate. He continued his steps aimlessly, the air was a little bit warmer tonight and the sky was very clear. He remembered how his friendship began with Nino – almost six years ago. They met for the first time in the laundry room; that was when Jun accidentally poured ink onto his kimono and he didn’t want the owner to find it.
It seemed that Nino was rarely talked with the other people; because he looked at Jun with rather surprised he tried his best to hide himself. Jun needed a good thirty minutes to make Nino at least say a word; he didn’t know that their Geisha House employed somebody like Nino in the laundry room. He expected an old lady with kind-hearted smile despite of an awkward young man with minimum ability of speaking.
Nevertheless, being a quiet guy didn’t mean that Nino was heartless; he was just too picky in choosing his friend. Jun heard from the other geisha that Nino was creepy and nobody wanted to be friends with him. But, to Jun, Nino was a nice and funny guy; he spared his time to accompany Nino at the laundry on his off day and they talked about a lot of random things – including Ohno to whom Jun had fallen in love with.
Jun had always told Nino his feeling; but Nino preferred keeping his own little problems deep inside his heart.
***
“Jun, I bought pizza…”
Sho froze as he saw Nino with his luggage; ready to depart. Both of them stared at each other for minutes, but Nino broke the contact and dragged his suitcase towards the door.
“Nino, where are you going?”
“I’m going back to Kyoto,” he answered briefly, avoiding Sho’s eyes on purpose.
“This late? You can’t make it to the station,” Sho glanced at his watch. He looked to his surroundings, as if trying to find Jun.
“He’s not home,” Nino said. He still absentmindedly dragged his suitcase towards the door; it was heavy like his heart. Why did Sho appear at the wrong time? Sho’s face was the last thing he wanted to see right now. Sho – a man whose eyes only directed to Jun and saw Nino as if seeing a stinky fly. He wanted to disappear as quickly as he could, but an unexpected thing happened.
The scattered slippers blocked his suitcase wheel and it accidentally fell down; hitting his already handicapped leg.
Nino stumbled and he perfectly landed on the floor; the heavy luggage was on top of his leg and he couldn’t move an inch. Sho moved quickly to help him; he pushed the suitcase off him and helped Nino to stand again, but the latter shook his head, signing that his leg was hurt.
“Let me carry you to your bedroom,” Sho leaned closer, extending his hand.
“I’ll go back to Kyoto, Sakurai san,” he said, hard-headed. He forced himself to stand up, but he only moved a bit before slumping back to the floor.
“Jun is right, you’re such a hard-headed guy,” Sho said, joining him to sit on the floor.
“J? He…talked about me?”
“Yes, all the time,” Sho smiled. “He always talks about you.”
Nino averted his gaze towards the closed door to avoid Sho’s smile, he felt his cheeks turned warm. He had never really talked to Sho; and this time the man was too close for his expectation, turning him all nervous. The throb on his feet was forgotten, but he reminded himself that Sho was Jun’s date and the other man didn’t have any feeling for him.
“He hasn’t answered me,” Sho said. “I think he isn’t interested in me at all,” the man continued. He looked hopeless, but he forced himself to smile.
Nino considered to tell Sho about Ohno and Jun; but it was an inappropriate thing to be done, or maybe Sho had already knew, only that his love for Jun was too strong that he didn’t care about everything else.
“Maybe he is in love with somebody else,” Sho mumbled. Nino craned his neck for the first time to the man before him. He wished he could tell Sho that he was the one who was in love with him, so deep that it hurt him. If only his leg was as normal as everybody else…
“Sakurai san,” he called the man. “One-sided love is hurt,” he said. Sho’s expression was hard to guess, but he showed a sympathy smile to Nino, those words were dedicated for both of them with different reasons.
“You’re right,” he agreed. “Maybe you should move to your bedroom instead of staying here,” Sho said after a few minutes passed in silence. Nino finally nodded, letting the man support him to walk towards his room. Sho’s hand circled his shoulder and their heads were almost touched; Nino accidentally smiled, maybe it wasn’t the right time to do that, but this unexpected intimacy was more than enough for him.
Sho stayed until he fell asleep; he didn’t know what time Jun would be back from his aimless walk, but he would talk properly to his friend tomorrow morning. Nevertheless, Jun needed a proper explanation.
***
Asterisk High School was as crowded as always on Monday morning, some of the students were talking at the corridor, discussing their test or their disappointing weekend. A group of girls walked towards their class, but they stopped for a moment as they saw Ohno. They gave him way as he passed through, while whispering behind their hands, Ohno knew what was the hottest topic – it was him and Kame breaking up. Everybody seemed surprised; why did the hottest couple decided to break up right before they were about to get married.
Ohno walked calmly, he wasn’t bothered by the fact that everyone was gossiping about him, he already got used to it and he could do nothing about it after all. He saw Jun at the end of the corridor; he was cleaning the floor seriously and seemed not noticing his presence. Jun was simply didn’t talk to him since they met at his apartment; he only said his greeting, but nothing more, perhaps what he had told Ohno wasn’t a lie – that he was going to forget him.
Today was no difference; the man said his ‘good morning’ formally, he bowed deeply so Ohno couldn’t see his face. Aiba appeared a few seconds letter with his usual smile; he greeted them loudly and patted Jun’s shoulder cheerfully.
“What a nice morning,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “I heard that Matsujun turned Sho kun down, so my time has come to pursue you,” Aiba beamed.
Ohno was taken aback, but he pretended to be cool as if he heard nothing. So Jun had turned down Sho’s proposal, it meant that he wasn’t the only one who experienced broken heart. Sho must be very disappointed now and needed more beers and cigarette than he already was. Aiba was still happily talked about how he would take Jun on a romantic date when Ohno met Jun’s gaze. Both of them tried to dig each other’s thoughts, but Jun broke the contact as quickly as possible, mumbling that he needed to clean the corridor before the bell rang.
“Bye, Matsujun. I’ll call you tonight,” he said happily while dragging Ohno towards the office. The calligraphy teacher couldn’t think clearly that day; his mind was full of Jun. If Jun gave him another chance to start all over again, maybe there would be happy ending wait for them.
‘Have time for drink?’
Sho sent him a short message; Ohno replied with short ‘yes’ and went straight to the café Sho had mentioned as the school bell rang. Jun walked out right in front of him; he wondered why the man chose to use emergency exit instead of normal gate. The way was kind of a hidden path where Ohno usually smoking to keep him out from the students’ sight. It was cramped and wasn’t enough to occupy both of them, so Ohno had no choice than following him.
“Jun,” he tried to call the man, but he gave no sign of slowing down his steps. “I didn’t know that you use this emergency corridor,” he continued, even though Jun didn’t answer him.
“I’ll go for drink with Sho, maybe you can join us,” Ohno said; he could see Jun flinched as he mentioned Sho’s name. “It isn’t a big deal, we’re friends after all,” he added casually.
\
Maybe Jun thought that he was such as cheesy man for inviting him to join their drink session, he stopped and turned to Ohno; he looked tired and lack of sleep, Ohno had just realized it since he was busily avoiding Jun’s face this morning.
“Have a good time with Sho san,” he said with hoarse voice. “This month will be my last month in Asterisk; I’m going back to Kyoto with Nino.”
“Going back?” Ohno confirmed, but Jun was already moved further from him, not even looking back at him. It meant he would no longer get any company from Nino – he began to enjoy the guy’s visit, even though all he did was playing game, but at least he wasn’t completely alone.
Why did everyone leave? Ohno asked himself; it was merely a week after Kame’s call and now it would be Jun and Nino. They came like a sudden wave and left immediately; letting him sit alone on the shore with only dry wind as company.
***
“They will go back,” Sho said, sipping his beer in one gulp. “Jun has told me that he didn’t want any romantic relationship.”
Ohno had witnessed Sho’s broken heart many times, but this time was the worst. He was even worse than Ohno himself who had just broke up with his fiancé.
“It’s good than he’s being honest with his feeling,” Ohno commented. “Lying to ourselves is the worst case. I experienced it and regret it now.”
“What do you mean?” Sho leaned closer; Ohno had never talked seriously with his friend, Sho was the one who told his problems.
“I’ve known Jun for many years. I met him for the first time in Kyoto.”
“Wait,” Sho straightened his back, “Don’t tell me a joke, Satoshi. I’m not in the mood now.”
“I’m not in the mood as well,” Ohno lit up his cigarette. “He worked in a Geisha House and I was his favorite customer, or so I thought.”
“It doesn’t make any senses. Jun can’t be a geisha.”
Ohno continued the rest of the past to the reluctant Sho; but it didn’t matter – maybe Sho would hate him for this, he had hidden it for too long and telling Sho the truth would be much better.
“Even though when I was with Kame, I couldn’t get over him.”
Sho finished his eighth glass of beer and collapsed to the nearest couch; he mumbled something like ‘not make sense’ and ‘it isn’t funny at all’ before closing his eyes tightly. Ohno sipped his own beer and ordered for one more glass. Should he tell Sho about Nino too? About his one-sided love towards Sho, Ohno had seen Nino’s phone by accident and saw Sho’s picture; it was taken from quite distance. Somehow, he wanted everything to go back to the right place. He wanted a peaceful Sunday where Kame cooked for him, where Sho happily told him that he met somebody, where there was no Jun who had made everybody confuse.
***
Jun tried to zip his over-loaded luggage; he didn’t know that he bought too many things during his stay in Tokyo. However, it couldn’t occupy his stuff at all, no matter how hard he had tried.
“You can put them in my suitcase, I have enough space,” Nino appeared from the door, he stepped closer and helped Jun to unpack his belongings.
“Thanks, Nino,” Jun saw a slight smile on Nino’s lips. He was relieve that finally he and Nino made everything clear between them, even though they were still awkward towards each other, as the sign that both of them haven’t forgotten the misunderstanding.
They talked until midnight yesterday; it was the first time he and Nino could tell each other those things. They might be best friends, but they didn’t open up for everything, especially when it was about love. Nino knew about his past with Ohno, but he didn’t know the details because Jun never told him; it would be awkward to talk to someone about his most private thing.
“I’m sorry,” Nino said while holding his empty cup, “for being in love with Sho kun.”
Jun looked at his friend for minutes before laughing bitterly.
“You should have told me earlier,” he said, patting Nino’s shoulder. “I never put any liking towards Sho san, but he insisted me, I couldn’t say no. But, we’re not dating and will never.”
“But he will never choose me either,” Nino said with disappointment.
Both of them stared at the same direction, how ironic, it would be fun if Sho have fallen in love with Nino instead of him.
“I’m sorry,” Jun said after a good five minutes.
“It’s not your fault,” Nino mumbled. “It’s a kind of embarrassing, don’t you think?”
Jun shook his head, “I’m glad that we can talk. I thought that you would leave me.”
“I’m still leaving for Kyoto,” Nino stated. “I searched for a job in internet and I found one.”
“I’ll leave with you. Maybe we aren’t supposed to move here at the first place. We got more problems than solutions,” Jun said, lying on the floor.
“How about Ohno san?” Nino asked while joining him on the floor. “He will be lonely.”
“Let him be,” Jun answered. He imagined Ohno in his apartment, staring at his locked door, waiting for Kame to come back. The scene seemed so real for him and it clenched his heart, he wanted Ohno to wait for him instead of Kamenashi; everything felt stupid now, what had he done?
“Do you like Ohno san?” Jun asked his friend.
“Yes, he’s a nice person. It would be great if I have a brother like him,” Nino muttered, playing with the hole on the carpet below him.
“But he’s a jerk at the same time,” Jun chuckled. But a tiny voice told him that it was him, being a jerk in somebody else’s relationship; maybe Ohno didn’t see him the same way now, maybe that man had enough of him and won’t see him for the rest of his life.
“Are you okay with this? I mean, you’re the one who decided to move to Tokyo in order to find him.”
“I’m stupid, Nino,” Jun said. “I don’t know what I really want.”
“What if he’s the one who you really want?” Nino rolled and lay on his stomach, putting his chin on his palms.
Jun didn’t answer, perhaps Nino was right that Ohno was the one who he really wanted, but he pretended that he was not, he let Ohno go back then, without telling him the truth. Ohno seemed numb after Kame left him; and maybe he wasn’t ready for another relationship. But, who could guarantee that he would choose Jun? There were many other men beside him, and Ohno deserved someone with higher social status.
He sighed deeply, let it be, he thought miserably.
To be continued
Pairing : Juntoshi/Ohno-Kame/Sakumiya
Length : Chapter
Rating : PG
Genre : romance, drama
Disclaimer : it was just my imagination
Summary : Ohno Satoshi, a 29-year-old guy was ready to get married with Kamenashi Kazuya. But at the same time, someone from his past reappeared. Someone who made everyone flailed, including his best friend, and Ohno had to make a difficult decision for his life….
Unbetaed this time
“I’m going back to Kyoto,” Nino said.
It was almost 9 pm when Jun got home from Asterisk; he finished his job earlier actually, but a bully student had poured the floor with unknown liquid and he had to clean it for hours. He said his greeting and entered the room, he didn’t expect to find Nino there, busily folding his clothes and stuffed them into his suitcase.
What the hell had happened to Nino these past few days? The guy simply didn’t bother to explain anything to him and acted as if their friendship was going to an end.
“You’re not going,” Jun rushed to his friend’s side and gripped his wrist to prevent him from folding his clothes. “You stay, and explain to me what is going on with us. What I did wrong to you?”
Nino struggled free, but Jun didn’t let him go. “There’s nothing to do with you, J.”
“You’re lying. Just tell me what happened, will you?”
Nino’s gaze fell down at his suitcase; he inhaled deeply but said nothing. Jun and Nino had never fought for all their friendship; they accepted each other nearly like siblings and it felt so awkward to talk like this and Jun knew that Nino was as confused as he was.
“Is there anything that you can’t tell me because of good reason?”
Slowly but sure, Nino nodded.
Jun tried to think of any possibilities which made the other guy avoided him and something he had never thought before popped up in his mind. He was so much stupid for not realizing it – he was too concern over himself without caring about Nino’s feeling – just like Ohno said.
“Nino, is it because of Sho san? Do you have a crush on him?”
Nino chose to stay silent which frustrated Jun more than anything. If they hurt each other, then they wouldn’t be able to stay the way they were. Jun loosened his grip and sat down on the bed; it felt like a hundred years since they moved to Tokyo. It was his fault after all, for dragging Nino all the way here. He had no right to prevent Nino from going back.
“Talk to me, if you feel like doing it,” Jun said, leaving the bedroom and walked out of the apartment towards the empty street.
He spotted Sho on his way; Jun didn’t feel like talking to that man, so he hid himself behind a pillar and watched the apartment keeper entered the building main gate. He continued his steps aimlessly, the air was a little bit warmer tonight and the sky was very clear. He remembered how his friendship began with Nino – almost six years ago. They met for the first time in the laundry room; that was when Jun accidentally poured ink onto his kimono and he didn’t want the owner to find it.
It seemed that Nino was rarely talked with the other people; because he looked at Jun with rather surprised he tried his best to hide himself. Jun needed a good thirty minutes to make Nino at least say a word; he didn’t know that their Geisha House employed somebody like Nino in the laundry room. He expected an old lady with kind-hearted smile despite of an awkward young man with minimum ability of speaking.
Nevertheless, being a quiet guy didn’t mean that Nino was heartless; he was just too picky in choosing his friend. Jun heard from the other geisha that Nino was creepy and nobody wanted to be friends with him. But, to Jun, Nino was a nice and funny guy; he spared his time to accompany Nino at the laundry on his off day and they talked about a lot of random things – including Ohno to whom Jun had fallen in love with.
Jun had always told Nino his feeling; but Nino preferred keeping his own little problems deep inside his heart.
***
“Jun, I bought pizza…”
Sho froze as he saw Nino with his luggage; ready to depart. Both of them stared at each other for minutes, but Nino broke the contact and dragged his suitcase towards the door.
“Nino, where are you going?”
“I’m going back to Kyoto,” he answered briefly, avoiding Sho’s eyes on purpose.
“This late? You can’t make it to the station,” Sho glanced at his watch. He looked to his surroundings, as if trying to find Jun.
“He’s not home,” Nino said. He still absentmindedly dragged his suitcase towards the door; it was heavy like his heart. Why did Sho appear at the wrong time? Sho’s face was the last thing he wanted to see right now. Sho – a man whose eyes only directed to Jun and saw Nino as if seeing a stinky fly. He wanted to disappear as quickly as he could, but an unexpected thing happened.
The scattered slippers blocked his suitcase wheel and it accidentally fell down; hitting his already handicapped leg.
Nino stumbled and he perfectly landed on the floor; the heavy luggage was on top of his leg and he couldn’t move an inch. Sho moved quickly to help him; he pushed the suitcase off him and helped Nino to stand again, but the latter shook his head, signing that his leg was hurt.
“Let me carry you to your bedroom,” Sho leaned closer, extending his hand.
“I’ll go back to Kyoto, Sakurai san,” he said, hard-headed. He forced himself to stand up, but he only moved a bit before slumping back to the floor.
“Jun is right, you’re such a hard-headed guy,” Sho said, joining him to sit on the floor.
“J? He…talked about me?”
“Yes, all the time,” Sho smiled. “He always talks about you.”
Nino averted his gaze towards the closed door to avoid Sho’s smile, he felt his cheeks turned warm. He had never really talked to Sho; and this time the man was too close for his expectation, turning him all nervous. The throb on his feet was forgotten, but he reminded himself that Sho was Jun’s date and the other man didn’t have any feeling for him.
“He hasn’t answered me,” Sho said. “I think he isn’t interested in me at all,” the man continued. He looked hopeless, but he forced himself to smile.
Nino considered to tell Sho about Ohno and Jun; but it was an inappropriate thing to be done, or maybe Sho had already knew, only that his love for Jun was too strong that he didn’t care about everything else.
“Maybe he is in love with somebody else,” Sho mumbled. Nino craned his neck for the first time to the man before him. He wished he could tell Sho that he was the one who was in love with him, so deep that it hurt him. If only his leg was as normal as everybody else…
“Sakurai san,” he called the man. “One-sided love is hurt,” he said. Sho’s expression was hard to guess, but he showed a sympathy smile to Nino, those words were dedicated for both of them with different reasons.
“You’re right,” he agreed. “Maybe you should move to your bedroom instead of staying here,” Sho said after a few minutes passed in silence. Nino finally nodded, letting the man support him to walk towards his room. Sho’s hand circled his shoulder and their heads were almost touched; Nino accidentally smiled, maybe it wasn’t the right time to do that, but this unexpected intimacy was more than enough for him.
Sho stayed until he fell asleep; he didn’t know what time Jun would be back from his aimless walk, but he would talk properly to his friend tomorrow morning. Nevertheless, Jun needed a proper explanation.
***
Asterisk High School was as crowded as always on Monday morning, some of the students were talking at the corridor, discussing their test or their disappointing weekend. A group of girls walked towards their class, but they stopped for a moment as they saw Ohno. They gave him way as he passed through, while whispering behind their hands, Ohno knew what was the hottest topic – it was him and Kame breaking up. Everybody seemed surprised; why did the hottest couple decided to break up right before they were about to get married.
Ohno walked calmly, he wasn’t bothered by the fact that everyone was gossiping about him, he already got used to it and he could do nothing about it after all. He saw Jun at the end of the corridor; he was cleaning the floor seriously and seemed not noticing his presence. Jun was simply didn’t talk to him since they met at his apartment; he only said his greeting, but nothing more, perhaps what he had told Ohno wasn’t a lie – that he was going to forget him.
Today was no difference; the man said his ‘good morning’ formally, he bowed deeply so Ohno couldn’t see his face. Aiba appeared a few seconds letter with his usual smile; he greeted them loudly and patted Jun’s shoulder cheerfully.
“What a nice morning,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “I heard that Matsujun turned Sho kun down, so my time has come to pursue you,” Aiba beamed.
Ohno was taken aback, but he pretended to be cool as if he heard nothing. So Jun had turned down Sho’s proposal, it meant that he wasn’t the only one who experienced broken heart. Sho must be very disappointed now and needed more beers and cigarette than he already was. Aiba was still happily talked about how he would take Jun on a romantic date when Ohno met Jun’s gaze. Both of them tried to dig each other’s thoughts, but Jun broke the contact as quickly as possible, mumbling that he needed to clean the corridor before the bell rang.
“Bye, Matsujun. I’ll call you tonight,” he said happily while dragging Ohno towards the office. The calligraphy teacher couldn’t think clearly that day; his mind was full of Jun. If Jun gave him another chance to start all over again, maybe there would be happy ending wait for them.
‘Have time for drink?’
Sho sent him a short message; Ohno replied with short ‘yes’ and went straight to the café Sho had mentioned as the school bell rang. Jun walked out right in front of him; he wondered why the man chose to use emergency exit instead of normal gate. The way was kind of a hidden path where Ohno usually smoking to keep him out from the students’ sight. It was cramped and wasn’t enough to occupy both of them, so Ohno had no choice than following him.
“Jun,” he tried to call the man, but he gave no sign of slowing down his steps. “I didn’t know that you use this emergency corridor,” he continued, even though Jun didn’t answer him.
“I’ll go for drink with Sho, maybe you can join us,” Ohno said; he could see Jun flinched as he mentioned Sho’s name. “It isn’t a big deal, we’re friends after all,” he added casually.
\
Maybe Jun thought that he was such as cheesy man for inviting him to join their drink session, he stopped and turned to Ohno; he looked tired and lack of sleep, Ohno had just realized it since he was busily avoiding Jun’s face this morning.
“Have a good time with Sho san,” he said with hoarse voice. “This month will be my last month in Asterisk; I’m going back to Kyoto with Nino.”
“Going back?” Ohno confirmed, but Jun was already moved further from him, not even looking back at him. It meant he would no longer get any company from Nino – he began to enjoy the guy’s visit, even though all he did was playing game, but at least he wasn’t completely alone.
Why did everyone leave? Ohno asked himself; it was merely a week after Kame’s call and now it would be Jun and Nino. They came like a sudden wave and left immediately; letting him sit alone on the shore with only dry wind as company.
***
“They will go back,” Sho said, sipping his beer in one gulp. “Jun has told me that he didn’t want any romantic relationship.”
Ohno had witnessed Sho’s broken heart many times, but this time was the worst. He was even worse than Ohno himself who had just broke up with his fiancé.
“It’s good than he’s being honest with his feeling,” Ohno commented. “Lying to ourselves is the worst case. I experienced it and regret it now.”
“What do you mean?” Sho leaned closer; Ohno had never talked seriously with his friend, Sho was the one who told his problems.
“I’ve known Jun for many years. I met him for the first time in Kyoto.”
“Wait,” Sho straightened his back, “Don’t tell me a joke, Satoshi. I’m not in the mood now.”
“I’m not in the mood as well,” Ohno lit up his cigarette. “He worked in a Geisha House and I was his favorite customer, or so I thought.”
“It doesn’t make any senses. Jun can’t be a geisha.”
Ohno continued the rest of the past to the reluctant Sho; but it didn’t matter – maybe Sho would hate him for this, he had hidden it for too long and telling Sho the truth would be much better.
“Even though when I was with Kame, I couldn’t get over him.”
Sho finished his eighth glass of beer and collapsed to the nearest couch; he mumbled something like ‘not make sense’ and ‘it isn’t funny at all’ before closing his eyes tightly. Ohno sipped his own beer and ordered for one more glass. Should he tell Sho about Nino too? About his one-sided love towards Sho, Ohno had seen Nino’s phone by accident and saw Sho’s picture; it was taken from quite distance. Somehow, he wanted everything to go back to the right place. He wanted a peaceful Sunday where Kame cooked for him, where Sho happily told him that he met somebody, where there was no Jun who had made everybody confuse.
***
Jun tried to zip his over-loaded luggage; he didn’t know that he bought too many things during his stay in Tokyo. However, it couldn’t occupy his stuff at all, no matter how hard he had tried.
“You can put them in my suitcase, I have enough space,” Nino appeared from the door, he stepped closer and helped Jun to unpack his belongings.
“Thanks, Nino,” Jun saw a slight smile on Nino’s lips. He was relieve that finally he and Nino made everything clear between them, even though they were still awkward towards each other, as the sign that both of them haven’t forgotten the misunderstanding.
They talked until midnight yesterday; it was the first time he and Nino could tell each other those things. They might be best friends, but they didn’t open up for everything, especially when it was about love. Nino knew about his past with Ohno, but he didn’t know the details because Jun never told him; it would be awkward to talk to someone about his most private thing.
“I’m sorry,” Nino said while holding his empty cup, “for being in love with Sho kun.”
Jun looked at his friend for minutes before laughing bitterly.
“You should have told me earlier,” he said, patting Nino’s shoulder. “I never put any liking towards Sho san, but he insisted me, I couldn’t say no. But, we’re not dating and will never.”
“But he will never choose me either,” Nino said with disappointment.
Both of them stared at the same direction, how ironic, it would be fun if Sho have fallen in love with Nino instead of him.
“I’m sorry,” Jun said after a good five minutes.
“It’s not your fault,” Nino mumbled. “It’s a kind of embarrassing, don’t you think?”
Jun shook his head, “I’m glad that we can talk. I thought that you would leave me.”
“I’m still leaving for Kyoto,” Nino stated. “I searched for a job in internet and I found one.”
“I’ll leave with you. Maybe we aren’t supposed to move here at the first place. We got more problems than solutions,” Jun said, lying on the floor.
“How about Ohno san?” Nino asked while joining him on the floor. “He will be lonely.”
“Let him be,” Jun answered. He imagined Ohno in his apartment, staring at his locked door, waiting for Kame to come back. The scene seemed so real for him and it clenched his heart, he wanted Ohno to wait for him instead of Kamenashi; everything felt stupid now, what had he done?
“Do you like Ohno san?” Jun asked his friend.
“Yes, he’s a nice person. It would be great if I have a brother like him,” Nino muttered, playing with the hole on the carpet below him.
“But he’s a jerk at the same time,” Jun chuckled. But a tiny voice told him that it was him, being a jerk in somebody else’s relationship; maybe Ohno didn’t see him the same way now, maybe that man had enough of him and won’t see him for the rest of his life.
“Are you okay with this? I mean, you’re the one who decided to move to Tokyo in order to find him.”
“I’m stupid, Nino,” Jun said. “I don’t know what I really want.”
“What if he’s the one who you really want?” Nino rolled and lay on his stomach, putting his chin on his palms.
Jun didn’t answer, perhaps Nino was right that Ohno was the one who he really wanted, but he pretended that he was not, he let Ohno go back then, without telling him the truth. Ohno seemed numb after Kame left him; and maybe he wasn’t ready for another relationship. But, who could guarantee that he would choose Jun? There were many other men beside him, and Ohno deserved someone with higher social status.
He sighed deeply, let it be, he thought miserably.
To be continued
a/n : what a lazy long weekend, happy belated May Day
