yun_miyake

Title: It’s Complicated

Author: [personal profile] eiko_lotus and yun_miyake

Pairing: Juntoshi

Length: Chaptered

Rating: pg

Genre: romance, family

Disclaimer: They belong to each other

Summary: Jun was an interior designer for Remarkable Design Graphic Company, his life had been simple until he met Ohno – a perfectionist client who was very difficult to deal with. On the other hand, Jun eventually found out that Ohno was also a loving dad to his only son…

Jun boarded the bullet train to Osaka while dragging a big suitcase in his right hand, he didn't know how long would he spend there at the branch office. He had prepared for a month stay, the company had found him an apartment near the project site along with a bicycle for him to commute. He leaned to the seat and closed his eyes, he was sleepless for the past three days. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night, trying to remember the details of his dream. Jun didn't know whether it was a dream or his deep thoughts because all he saw was Ohno.

He had no intention of falling in love with Ohno, not even the slightest. He couldn't judge what kind of feeling he had for the man. The kiss he shared with Ohno had left him with an endless confusion. Jun never felt like this for his nearly 30 years of life.

Jun wasn't involved in love relationship that much, he simply had no time for that. All he cared about was work. He and Sho had worked hard for their design company, during those times, he never thought of something else aside from work. He dated with someone a long time ago, but it ended almost naturally because Jun knew their relationship was going nowhere. Another thing about him was he never categorized himself as a lonely person. He got friends, he had busy work and he had a bunch of hobbies, he never looked for a partner on purpose. Well, nobody fell in love on purpose, it just happened.

What he felt for Ohno was real, but he had a thousand considerations which still confused him. He didn't know the man that much, what if he just took advantages out of him? What if Ohno was a straight man deep down inside and what he did to Jun was just temporary because they were merely caught in that situation. They were drunk that night and didn't really think before acting.

"Next stop, Osaka station"

Jun dragged his luggage towards the exit as the train stopped. He glanced at the watch, it was 11.30 in the afternoon. He stepped towards the escalator and headed the exit. He didn't expect that someone had been waiting for him in front of the exit door.

"Aiba san?"

Aiba was one of his colleagues whom Sho appointed to take over Jun's assignment to Ohno. He wondered whether Sho sent this man to make sure that Jun was really going to Osaka.

"Matsumoto san, welcome to Osaka. Did you enjoy the trip?" Aiba asked, smiling nervously at Jun.

"Thanks, the trip was nice," Jun replied. "Sho didn't say that you will pick me up."

"I'm here to welcome you privately. There's something I want to discuss with you," Aiba said.

Jun could tell that whatever Aiba wanted to discuss with him was something outside from work.

"Should we go for lunch?" Aiba asked when Jun didn't say anything.

"Sure, it's a perfect timing," Jun answered.

They entered a ramen restaurant nearby the station. It felt weird to sit face to face with Aiba to talk about something private; as long as Jun remembered, they never involved in each other's business.

"I'm glad that you agreed to take Osaka's project," Aiba opened the conversation. "You will love this place," he added.

"It's almost the same with Tokyo," Jun shrugged. "I hope I will like it."

The odd silence fell between them, Jun looked around the restaurant, there were only three other people, two adult men and a teenager boy, somehow it reminded him of his onsen trip with Ohno and Kazu.

"So, what can I help you?" Jun asked when Aiba seemed not to begin the conversation.

Aiba avoided his gaze and looked down at the table as if looking for answer there.

"It's about Sho kun," Aiba said.

"Sho?"

Aiba nodded slowly. "Are you...in...relationship with him?"

Jun who didn't expect the topic couldn't answer immediately. Perhaps he was interested in Sho, but that particular feeling was almost forgotten since he involved with Ohno.

"No," Jun shook his head. "We're just colleagues, nothing more."

"Have you sneaked into his room? Let's say when both of you drunk?"

"Of course not," Jun shook his head. "I rarely go out with him privately."

"I see," Aiba said, looking somewhat relief.

"Do you like him?" Jun asked.

Aiba nodded, giving Jun a stiff grin. "I know it's wrong to have an affair with a colleague, but I'm ready to resign. Besides, I have to resign anyway to take care of my upcoming child with him."

Jun needed a few seconds to understand what Aiba said. The realization finally hit him and he knew he looked stupid with mouth half opened.

"I don't know what to say, but congratulation."

"He doesn't want this," Aiba shook his head sadly. "He told me it was a mistake. He told me to abort..."

Jun took Aiba's trembling fingers to calm him down. He didn't know that much about this man, but he felt his doubt and insecurity.

"I'll convince him," he said. Even though Jun knew he shouldn't interfere in someone else's business, but Sho was the one who told him not to mix feeling with work.

"Really?"

Jun nodded.

"You always do things properly, even that Ohno san praises your work."

"He insulted me all the time," Jun said. "If he likes my design, Sho would never ask you to replace me."

"Maybe he likes you," Aiba said as if it could solve everything.

Jun smiled, not knowing what to say. The thing between him and Ohno was more complicated than he thought it would be, or maybe he was the one who made it complicated.

****

Osaka project was nothing like Tokyo. The clients left everything to Jun and they accepted the design without much protest. Jun didn't know if it was better or not, he got used to pressure and deadlines and working with his own pace was kinda weird.

Two weeks had passed since he came to Osaka. He hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Sho about Aiba. Jun declined Sho's invitation for dinner and knew that the other man was disappointed. But, he wasn't in the mood to talk with Sho outside from the working place.

Jun had no guts to contact Ohno for the past two weeks. Besides, he didn't know what to say to the other man.

"What do you mean by kissing me?"

There was no way for him to ask such a stupid question. They were drunk after all; Ohno probably forgot what he did that night.

He exchanged a few line messages with Kazu and knew that Ohno was doing fine. He had decided that it was better for him to stay away for the time being until he was ready enough to meet Ohno.

Jun was working on the design of a grand ball room for the newly built hotel when someone knocked on his door. He paused his work and opened the door for his guest, but the one who stood before him was Sho.

"Don't look at me like a ghost," Sho said, smiling at him.

"You could tell me beforehand that you're coming here," Jun replied, gesturing to Sho to enter the office room.

"My bad," Sho said, sitting down on the armchair while looking around the room. "Do you like it here sofar?"

"I guess," Jun said.

"I bring you some sweets," Sho pointed at the plastic bag on the table. "You look like lack of energy, what happened?"

"Nothing happened," Jun answered impatiently. "I just need to adjust myself to the working pace, that's it."

Sho looked at him with an unreasonable expression; Jun chose to continue his work but halted immediately when Sho spoke again.

"I was right about that Ohno guy," Sho said.

"Ohno? Don't tell me that you came this far just to talk about him," Jun replied, not knowing how to response correctly to Sho's sudden statement.

"He's trying to use you, Jun."

"Come on, Sho. He's..."

"Have you asked him why he became a single father?" Sho asked with cynical tone on his voice.

Jun didn't answer, he simply accepted that Ohno was a single father who loved his only son, but didn't know how to express it. Ohno's past was none of his concern and he wasn't a type of person who wanted to dig into someone's problem, particularly if that problem left a kind of trauma.

"What makes his wife left him just like that if he is a good man?" Sho continued when Jun gave no answer. "I personally think that he has a mental problem. Remember what he did to you when you gave him your design? Besides, he has a son to take care of and it would be perfect if you're around. He just wants you to take care of his son, so he can go around, looking for another chic."

Jun closed his eyes and took a deep breath, preventing himself from the desire to land a hard punch on Sho's nose. He remembered Aiba's sad face when he told Jun about the baby and how Sho didn't want it. The anger started ruled his head, but he tried to be calm as much as he could when he replied Sho's words.

"First of all, I helped him voluntarily and I don't give a shit about his past. Second, it's not your damn business if we have some kind of relationship because I'm a free single man and I'm free to decide," Jun paused to give himself time to take a breath. "Last but not least, I didn't expect someone like you would tell Aiba san to abort the baby, it's just out of your sense."

Sho's expression hardened as he heard what Jun said. A kind of expression Jun never seen before.

"Look, I know you, Sho. You are a respectable man and I admire your hard work. I enjoy working with you but something has changed you recently..."

"How...did you know about Aiba?" Sho asked.

"We met on the day I arrived here," Jun replied. "Deep down inside, you're a good man, Sho."

Sho shook his head in agony.

"I just, I don't want to see you with that Ohno guy, he pissed me off," Sho said.

"He has nothing to do with you," Jun replied.

"But I have something to do with you, Jun."

"Like what?" Jun alsorose off of from his seat. He didn't know where this conversation would end and what Sho wanted by discussing about Ohno with him.

Sho didn't answer; he simply stared at Jun with angry gaze. The room fell into an odd silence, the only sound was the tickling clock on the wall.

"If this useless discussion already ends, let me go back to work," Jun said with the final tone.

It was stupid that they argued about something which had nothing to do with each other's life. Jun never thought that Sho could be this narrow minded. Why did Ohno bother him so much?

Sho grabbed his jacket and left the office room. Jun looked at the closed door with weird feeling; everything seemed going upside down since he met Ohno. Now, even his colleague got involved in this unnecessary complicated situation. He drowned his face into his palms and closed his eyes. Sho's voice was still echoed in his ears. He shut his laptop after saving his work, he couldn't think with this chaotic mind. He decided to go back home earlier, even though there was nothing interesting waited for him there.

***

"Kazu kun, how are you?"

It was nearly seven pm when Jun dared himself to give the boy a phone call. He was afraid that Ohno probably the one who picked it up, but he was relieved when he heard Kazu's voice.

"Jun san, I'm fine. Where are you? My dad said that you are not in Tokyo anymore, he's lying, right?"

Jun couldn't help from smiling, he missed the boy so much. Kazu was a kind of a cure for him after facing some stupid adult (including himself).

"I'm in Osaka now," Jun replied.

"Is it for temporary?" Kazu asked.

"I don't know, let us see," Jun clutched his phone tighter and remembered how he didn't say a proper good bye to Ohno and Kazu. Maybe he should have told the kid something before his departure to Osaka, but his confusion took over his right mind, he couldn't bring himself to think.

"I miss your curry," Kazu mumbled. "Would you teach me how to make it? I'll try to cook it tonight."

"Is your hand alright?" Jun asked, checking his calendar, it was nearly two months since the incident which broke Kazu's arm.

"Yes, it's alright, Jun san. I really wish that you could visit again so I can learn more cooking from you."

Jun bit his lower lip, he wished he could go there as well and meet Kazu. But, the unexplained kiss Ohno gave him had turned him into a coward. He didn't want to meet the man for the time being, it was for their own good.

"I'll visit you again, when the time allows me. I'll let you know when I'm in Tokyo."

"Really?" Kazu said with excitement.

They exchanged a few more words before ending the call. Jun felt empty inside; he had never experienced something like this before. Perhaps he needed some times to think.

***

For the next two weeks, Jun almost did nothing but working. He finished his designs earlier and denied the new projects for the time being.

He had made a decision to take a leave and this time for long enough. He was kind of surprise when he checked his bank account, his saving was more than enough for him to travel for six months. But, he wasn't in the mood to travel. He just wanted to be in a quiet place where nobody would bother him, not even Sho.

He opened his laptop and started typing a letter for the unpaid leave. He didn't care whether Sho would agree or not, he would still leave. Jun didn't know if he would get an answer he had been looking for if he stayed away from Tokyo. He just couldn't handle it anymore and he was worried that if he stayed any longer here, he would do something stupid.

He finished the letter and printed it. It was the first time for Jun to take a leave from work. He loved working and sometimes he even overworked himself. Ohno had changed something in him, something that Jun couldn't name it.

Jun didn't tell anybody, not even Kazu when he came back to Tokyo. He needed to take care of his apartment rent and the remained stuff at the main office. He came early in the morning in order to avoid everybody. He entered Sho's office to put his letter; Jun looked around the room, he remembered how he and Sho had worked so hard to build this office. Everything seemed much better when they were still struggling to get a reputation, unlike now. Jun missed those days, but he knew that he and Sho would never be able to repeat them. There was a lonely feeling sneaked into Jun's heart when he closed the door of the office room; somehow, he had a hunch that he would never come back here anymore.

He stepped outside and took a cab towards his apartment. He needed all morning to take care of his stuffs and when he finished, it was almost two in the afternoon. He just realized that he hadn't had lunch. He could just order for delivery service from the nearby restaurant, but he decided to stretch his feet a little bit.

Jun entered a random restaurant and ordered a bowl of udon, he didn't expect that he would meet somebody he had been missing.

"Kazu kun?"

The kid turned his head quickly; he needed a couple of seconds to respond.

"Jun san, where have you been?" he stood up from his seat and gave Jun a hug.

"I'm sorry, it took me a while to contact you. Is your dad with you?" Jun asked, looking around as if expecting Ohno would appear from nowhere.

"No, he's in the middle of important meeting," Kazu sat down and looked at Jun with intense gaze, just like what Ohno always did. "You're losing weight."

Jun chuckled, he didn't expect that comment from a 14-year-old boy.

"I'm late for lunch," Jun said, calling for the waiter to order. "So, how are you doing?"

"So-so," the boy shrugged. "I talk again with my dad, but he's always daydreaming. I need to repeat what I said until he grasps the meaning," Kazu shook his head.

"Daydreaming, huh?" Jun knew exactly what Ohno felt because he experienced the same thing.

"He's smart but sometimes he's the dumbest too," Kazu said which made Jun laugh for real this time.

“Both of you are interesting,” Jun said.

“Did my dad tell you something horrible on the last day of our hot spring trip?” Kazu asked.

Jun remembered what happened on the night before and he couldn’t help himself from blushing. What if Kazu was awake back then and witnessed what they were doing? It was totally embarrassing; Jun would never be able to explain to Kazu about the thing he had with Ohno. Kazu wasn’t a little kid anymore; he was 14, he already understood what love was and perhaps he had experienced one, but it felt so wrong to explain to Kazu that he had a feeling for Ohno – Jun couldn’t do that.

“No, he didn’t,” Jun shook his head. “I got something urgent to do that day. Sorry for making you worry,” he added, avoiding the boy’s gaze.

“I will never forgive him if he treats you badly. We’re friends, remember?” Kazu grinned at him.

“Thank you. But he’s still your dad, you have to love each other,” Jun said.

“I know,” Kazu replied, smiling innocently at Jun. “Are you going to my dad’s office?”

“No,” Jun knew he had to explain it sooner or later to the kid. “I was appointed permanently in Osaka so I have no business with Tokyo’s office anymore.”

Kazu looked at Jun as if he was some kind of foreign object. “Oh no,” he whispered, “are you leaving?”

“It’s not something like that. I can come here every now and then and vice versa.”

“But you can’t stay over at my house anymore or cook for me. I know it’s a selfish request, can you just ask your boss to cancel the transfer to Osaka?”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” Jun shook his head. “I’m sorry, Kazu kun.”

The boy looked extremely disappointed and his resemblance to Ohno was clearer than before. Jun didn’t tell the boy that he would take a leave from the office for quite a long time and perhaps they would never meet again. He was afraid of his own feeling and finding the answer was more difficult than what he thought. He chose to give up and stayed away from all of this. Maybe it would be better if he and Ohno never met.

He went back to his apartment and finished what was left. His meeting with Kazu had added the long-listed things he had to think about. He considered to meet Ohno, but what would he say to the man.

‘I came into a conclusion, I don’t want to see you again’

There was no way he could say such thing to the man; he loved Ohno, no matter how hard he tried to deny it. The kiss Ohno gave him that night had put him into an endless confusion.

He threw the last piece of photo frame to the box and sealed it with the sellotape. The night had fallen when Jun finished packing everything; he once again felt the weird loneliness inside his chest. He gave the last look to the empty room before turning off the lamps. He would stay at the nearby hotel and leave early in the morning.

***

‘Kazu kun, I’m glad that we met. Please take care of your dad for me’

Jun typed the message to Kazu and read it over and over again before clicking the sending button. He dragged his luggage towards the train platform; this time he would go further to the north. He had contacted his grandmother and told her that he would stay at her house for the time being. The old woman was more than glad to welcome him; she told Jun that they were in the middle of apple harvesting season.

‘You have lots to do here’ she explained to Jun.

Jun turned off his phone as he departed the train. He knew Sho had already read his letter and would try to contact him. Kazu probably told his dad about their short encounter and Ohno would also try to reach him. Jun wasn’t in the mood to give explanations; he just wanted to be left alone, until he was ready to face them again – if there would be another meeting.

He looked outside to the city scenery, “good bye, Tokyo,” he whispered.

to be continued .