As Long As You Still Be By My Side chapter 3

[yun_miyake]

Title    : As Long As You Still Be By My Side chapter 3
Pairing    :  Juntoshi
Length    : Chaptered
Rating      : PG
Genre      : Angst, au, romance, tragedy
Disclaimer  : Never claim them as mine, they are belong to each other
Summary   : Jun lost his daughter in an accident almost two years before, but
he couldn't pull himself up from the sadness that keep haunting him,
until he and Ohno moved to a small town.....
Warning   : Sorry for the bad English

As Long As You Still Be By My Side

chapter 3

He didn’t understand himself, why he agreed Ohno’s idea to adopt a child, even though Jun said that he doesn’t want to be hurry and they need to analyze their condition further whether it’s necessary for them to add the family member, moreover without any blood connection.

Jun got his selfishness raised to the surface again this time, he doesn’t want the kid that they would adopt get more attention than Sora did. And he doesn’t want to be called ‘Daddy’ whatever the reason.

“Jun, if you don’t want it, we can cancel this plan, consider that it never happened.”

Ohno talked while opening the umbrella for them, the rain is falling hard when they walked towards the orphanage that afternoon.

“Let’s see it later Satoshi,” they raised their speed and the water already make their shirts wet when they finally arrived at the building which look old and cold. Jun regretted that he denied Ohno’s idea to go here by car instead of walking. Both of them entered in and the familiar face appeared, Aiba with the dirty apron darted to them, his face curled in wide smile, bring the light and warm to this cold room.  

“Matsumoto san, welcome to our place.” Aiba shook his hand with enthusiasm, his eyes moved to Ohno who is standing next to Jun, Ohno is still look around the place, the small painting at the corner of the room seems attracted his attention so much.

“This is my husband, Ohno Satoshi,” Jun introduced Ohno who finally sees Aiba, he gave his right hand to the taller man.

“Welcome Ohno san, I’m sorry that we didn’t prepare anything for you, the kids are still having their lunch now, maybe we can wait in my office until they finished,” Aiba suggested, he lead the way to his small office which look a little bit brighter because it has many windows, Aiba put few living plants inside, one of them was already sere, lack of water.

“Please take a seat,” he gestured them to sit on the chairs in front of his messy desk, Jun saw many unused pencils lie around, Aiba picked one of them and changed it immediately to the  new one when he realized the pencil can’t be used anymore.

“Would you please write down your name here?” Aiba gave them something which look like the guest book, Jun took it and opened it until he found the blank page, lowered his hand, he wrote his name and Ohno’s name on it and give the book back to Aiba.

“We rarely have visitor,” Aiba inserted the book to his desk drawer, “The kids must be happy.”

“How many kids is here Aiba san?” Jun asked.

“Almost 40 kids, but it reduced every year, I’m so glad that they found good foster parents,” Aiba stood up and put two bottles of mineral water in front of Jun and Ohno. Jun imagined how those foster parents came here and decided to adopt one of the kids, how the other kids envied their friends for having new life. Jun thought that he would never be able to do that, pick one kid and bring him or her home.

They heard little voices outside the office and Aiba stood up, he walked across his desk, look out of his door.

“The lunch is over,” he announced to Jun and Ohno who followed him standing up, they stepped outside and many curious faces stared at them.

“Matsumoto san, you came,” Jun saw Nino ran to him, the kid stopped right in front of him, he tilted up with radiant face, he dressed like a little chef with the dirty apron on his waist, just like what Aiba has.

“Hello Nino, how are you?” Jun squatted, he patted Nino on his head, the other kids seems want to get the same attention from him and Ohno because they moved closer with the shy faces, Jun look more carefully to Nino’s face. He is so pale, like the plant which doesn’t get much sun light.

“I am fine, did your elbow alright?” the kid checked his elbow and the glimpse of guilty expression crossed his young face.

“Don’t worry Nino, it’s alright now,” Jun assured the kid, showed him his elbow which already recovered half-way, “Did you learn how to cook today?” Jun pointed to Nino’s unique outfit and the kid’s cheeks blushed.

“Today is my turn to be the chef, I helped Aiba san and the other kitchen staffs to prepare the lunch, it was fun,” Nino faced Aiba and smile to the man who replied it immediately.

“Nino loves to cook,” Aiba said, “The other kids also have their own hobbies, we help them to develop it.” Aiba spread his sight around to all of the kids in that room and his face showed a proud expression.

Jun and Ohno spent another two hours there, talked to every kid, there are a few kids that didn’t feel interested to them, when Jun asked Aiba about those kids, the taller man explained that they can’t interact normally with the other people moreover the adults.

When finally Jun and Ohno decided to go home, the kids stood on a line and bowed at the same time to them, Jun waved good bye to every radiant faces which make his throat dry and almost cry. When they reached the gate, Nino chased them and pushed something to Jun’s hand.

“This is my newest origami, I hope you like it Matsumoto san,” Jun looked at the origami and then Nino’s face, he tried hard not to drop his tear in front of him. Nino moved aside and gave Ohno too.

“This is for Ohno san, thanks for visiting.”

Jun heard Ohno mumbled soft thank you to Nino and patted the boy’s head, once again they waved good bye to him and stepped outside to the street. The rain remained the fresh air, there were still water droplets on the leaves, when the weak wind blew, it drops to their heads. Jun inhale the air deeply, glanced to Ohno who kept silent beside him.

“What do you think?” Jun asked.

“I don’t know, but seems Nino likes you,” Ohno inserted his hands to his pockets, he also took few deep breath.

“I’m not sure of it, besides, I want to work,” Jun glanced to Ohno to see his reaction, “Maybe part time,” he added unsurely, he already get enough staying at home, waiting for Ohno to come back from work which usually very late, all alone.

“Even if we decided to adopt him, you can still work, he lives at the orphanage for all these times, I think he’s more independent than we can imagine,” Ohno withdrew his right hand and circled it to Jun’s fingers now.

Jun squished the fingers softly, maybe Ohno is right, they can still adopt Nino and Jun can work as well, because he worked when Sora was still alive, it’s time for him to repair his gloomy days, he’s glad that he and Ohno rarely fight after they moved here. He managed to look for the part time job tomorrow; they continued their steps towards the house, Jun felt so much better than what he thought this morning.

***

Jun made a phone call to Aiba, explained that he and Ohno planned to adopt Nino in near future, but they must settle everything first, Aiba thanked him in shaking voice, Jun can heard the excitement from the way he speaks.

“Aiba san, please don’t tell Nino about it, we want to give him a little surprise,” Jun imagined how Nino’s radiant face would shine brighter when he knows that Jun will adopt him, maybe Jun can send him to a better school and teach him how to cook. He ended the call and finished his CV on his laptop, Ohno told him that the new lawyer office needed part time staff, what an acquaintance, Jun thought.

He went to the lawyer office and met a middle age woman with very brown hair, she took the CV from Jun’s hand, read it quickly and put it on her table which looks so clean and well-managed. She said that Sakurai Sho (the office owner and the lawyer) isn’t here, he still has some client that he must meet with, she offered a cup of hot tea to Jun who denied politely.

“You were a chef before, what makes you want to work here?” that woman suddenly asked, she re-checked Jun’s CV and now stared at his face with interest.

“Errrr I just want to try something new,” Jun answered carefully, he hopes that he doesn’t need to have another talk with this woman when he already works here.

“Sakurai san is a strict person, I am not sure he would employee you,” she said with pride as if she is the most welcomed person for the lawyer. Jun nodded, didn’t know how to react, he thanked her and returned home. It’s impossible for him to tell the real reason, why he changes his job, he avoided every topic which can bring him to Sora, he must let her go. But the more he tries, the more he fails, Sora’s shadows haunted him every day, isn’t it a betrayal if he adopts Nino just to replace his beloved daughter.  If only Sora were still alive, everything would be different, Jun would still work as a chef, maybe he can open a small restaurant here, in this town. Maybe they can still adopt Nino and Sora would get a brother to play with, he can cook something delicious for both of them every day.

Jun opened the door and darted in, flopped his back to the sofa with his hands on his head, he looked up to the ceiling, it would be nice if Nino already here. He glanced to the clock, still many hours before Ohno returned home. He re-thinks about Ohno’s sudden decision to adopt a child, maybe it was his aunt’s idea. Besides, Jun can’t be pregnant again, he doesn’t know, but if he can, he wants to bring another child to this world, love him or her with all his heart. Since Sora died, he and Ohno never really talk about having another kid, or Jun was the one who doesn’t want to talk about it. Now he wants it, he will talk to Ohno when the other arrived home. He pulls off himself from the sofa and stepped to his kitchen, managed to cook something for dinner.

***

Ohno returned around 8 o’clock, right when Jun finished his cooking. They enjoyed the dinner and Jun talked about his day, how the middle age woman expressed her doubt to him because he changed his job in a very different field. Ohno nodded while chewing the food, he nodded few times at the right timing and offer his shady face to ensure Jun that he’s gonna be alright like what he did a thousand times before.

“How about Nino? Did you tell Aiba san?” Ohno finished his meal, put the chopsticks on its place, he stared at Jun who still drinking his tea.

Jun gulped, he wiped his lips with the tissue and answer, “I called Aiba san this morning, but it’s better not to tell Nino about it, a little surprise would be so meaningful,” Jun saw Ohno nodded again, agreed to him. Jun glanced to Ohno’s face, he wanted to ask Ohno about their possibility of having a child again, but he didn’t know where to start, his lips felt so weight and can’t spell the words all of sudden.

“Let me help you with the dishes,” Ohno took the plates to his hands, but Jun stood up and took them away from Ohno.

“You must be tired, it’s better for you to take a bath while I clean this,” Jun darted to the kitchen without waiting for Ohno to answer, he heard the other’s steps went further, it means that Ohno obeyed him like always. But why he can’t make a simple request to Ohno to have a child again, a child of their own, with their bloods run to her or his veins. Jun finished washing the dishes and stepped to the bedroom, Ohno didn’t finish yet, it’s been a long time since he and Ohno make love to each other. It feels wrong and stiff every time Ohno touched him, Jun doesn’t understand why, he pushed Ohno away, denied him. He often says harsh words to Ohno when they are still living at the city, if he thinks about it further, it was his entire fault. Ohno is a silent person who would say yes for every request he made, it makes Jun worried whether Ohno loves him too much or the other only say yes to make him quite, hides something from him, like having another person beside Jun.

“My waist is so hurt,” Ohno entered the bedroom with the towel surrounding his waist, his wet hair attached to his forehead, Jun stood up and hold the other so tight.

“Jun, what’s wrong?” Ohno’s hand moved to his hair, stroked it softly to comfort him. Jun cried, his own imagination in losing Ohno is too real, he would never let anyone touch Ohno, never.

“I just don’t want to lose you,” Jun whispered, he knows he heard so stupid and childish, but he doesn’t care, losing Ohno is the last thing he wants.

“You’ll never lose me, I’ll always be here for you,” Ohno kissed his ear, pushed him to the bed, this time, Jun won’t push Ohno away, he wants to have Ohno now, all of him.

TO BE CONTINUED