As Long As You Still Be By My Side chapter 6

[yun_miyake]

Title    : As Long As You Still Be By My Side chapter 6
Pairing    :  Juntoshi, Sakumoto
Length    : Chapters
Rating      : PG
Genre      : Angst, au, romance, tragedy
Disclaimer  : Never claim them as mine, they are belong to each other
Summary   : Jun lost his daughter in an accident almost two years before, but
he couldn't pull himself up from the sadness that keep haunting him,
until he and Ohno moved to a small town.....
Warning   : Sorry for the bad English

As Long As You Still Be By My Side

Chapter 6

It was late in the afternoon when Jun and Nino arrived at the orphanage on that sunny Sunday, Aiba welcomed them happily, he hugged Nino tight and stroked the kid’s hair until it becomes so mess and gained a cute annoying look from the small kid. Jun stayed at Aiba’s office, let Nino visit his friends and bring them cookies that Jun made this morning. He talked about Nino with Aiba and he can see the tall man’s face shine in happiness to hear that Jun and Ohno loves to treat Nino.

“By the way, do you know the lawyer who newly opened an office here?” Aiba suddenly asked him.

“Yes, I work for him,” Jun answered, surprised that Aiba mentioned the lawyer, maybe there’s something happened. “What’s wrong?”

“Errr he came here two days ago and gave me a picture of a baby, he asked me is there any kid who looks like the baby here or the other orphanage that I visited,” Aiba lifted one of his eyebrow, thinking.

“Can I see the picture Aiba san?” Jun asked. Aiba pulled the drawer on his desk and handed him a piece of baby photo, the face on that paper was cute and looked happy. Jun tried to find something similar between Nino and the baby but he couldn’t find it. He returned the photo to Aiba and formed a fake smile on his lips. They continued to chat until Nino’s voice which said good bye to all his friends can be heard and Jun decided to go home.

Jun thinks so hard on the way home, his left hand gripped Nino’s wrist along the way. For unclear reason, he doesn’t want to lose Nino, whatever the reason. He would talk to Ohno about it, or maybe they can return to the city (something impossible for Ohno since he just started his job here) and the reason they moved here is for distracting Jun’s sadness after Sora’s death.

“Matsumoto san,” Nino’s voice called for him and Jun stopped, he just realized that he holds Nino’s hand too hard and dragged him all the way, he released the little hand with guilty feeling and squatted.

“Nino, do you want to meet your real parents again?” Jun knows the question confused the kid, Nino’s eyes turned bigger and he answered with tiny voice.

“I want to live with Matsumoto san and Ohno san.”

Jun gulped, he patted Nino’s shoulder softly, what if Nino’s parents want him back? Jun and Ohno can’t do anything about it, moreover if Nino’s father is Sakurai Sho, Jun shook his head. Sakurai is a great lawyer, there’s nothing they can do to win Nino if he wants his son back, but Jun tried to assume that Sakurai is not Nino’s father, maybe it was just a fortuitously that the lawyer lost his son that he didn’t even know how his child looks like.

“I want to call you Daddy, can I?,” Nino smiled at him, the question which makes Jun’s blood rippled, he hardly looked at Nino in the eye and shook his head weakly.

“I’m sorry Nino,” he said, the smile erased from the kid’s lips, his face looks like the dim light but it’s only for few seconds.

“Are you hungry?” Jun stood up and took Nino’s hand in more gentle way, he forced a smile and continued their steps to their house. He can’t let Nino call him ‘daddy’ because he’s Sora’s daddy only, nobody else can take that place. He tried to love Nino as his own son, Ohno must know it that he fight for his own feeling all of these days since Nino came to their life, however Sora’s shadow won’t go away, she ruled his head no matter how hard he tried to let her go.

***

Ohno is busy packing his clothes when Jun entered their room, he would have work at the other city for a week. Jun helped him to fold the shirts and few ties.

“Can you handle Nino by yourself?” Ohno questioned him, Jun rolled the tie carefully and put it on the table.

“Sure,” he answered, “He’s independent and easy.”

“You know what Jun, he called me Papa Ohno, very cute,” Ohno giggled, the amusement smile decorated his lips but Jun can’t feel the same.

“Do you think that was funny, to let other kid call you Papa and you felt happy about that?” Jun stopped his movement in folding the shirts, he glared at Ohno’s face to see his reaction. The smile disappeared from his face, replaced by confusing expression, “Jun, it’s time for us to start new life, don’t let the past effect you too much and pulled you away from the reality. Sora has gone, there’s nothing you can do about that.”

Ohno’s voice was gentle and make sense, but Jun’s head is full of cloud. He throws the shirt to the floor and stood up, towering Ohno who still sit down on the bed.

“Don’t speak to me as if you love her more than I do!”

“I love her Jun, what are you talking about?” Ohno stood up too, he tried to calm Jun when he tried to pat his shoulder, but Jun avoid his hand.

“I would never let anyone replaced her position, moreover by an orphan!” he shouted, forgot that Nino might heard his voice, he just want to make Ohno understand his feeling, to feel the same sadness like he did.

“Calm down Jun, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ohno began to raise his voice, his chest goes up and down as if he just run downstairs.

“Don’t you dare to tell what’s right or wrong!” Jun’s head started to spin, felt dizzy all of sudden, he walked out of the room, slammed the door behind him. He ruffled his hair and stepped out, but half-way he saw Nino who brings his laundry to the washing machine, the kid looked at him in strange way, but Jun can see the sadness smeared his young face.

“Nino,” Jun whispered, but instead of stepping closer to the kid, he ran to the door, opened it and walked outside. The sun shine hit his face but he doesn’t care, he just wants to run away from everything. From his sadness, his never ending gloomy days, his selfishness which leads him and Ohno into a fight again. He didn’t know how long he walks, but when he stopped he’s on the side of a river. He slumped to the grass, lay down his back on the ground, closed his eyes and tried to not think about what was just happened.

However, Nino’s face appeared so clear in front of him, a face which was hurt and unwanted despite of his frightened that he won’t lose Nino. If Nino heard Jun’s words, maybe he won’t stay with Jun anymore, his real parents are so much better to live with. Jun opened his eyes, the water sound from the river calm him down a bit, he took few stones and started to throw them to the river, the water splashed when the stones hit its surface, he did it continuously until he felt bored and his head can think clearly again.

Ohno must be so angry to him, it’s better to wait until tomorrow to apologize before he goes to work. And he will explain to Nino about what he said, with that solution he managed to return home, he just walked five steps away when the rain started to fall.

“Nice,” he laughed at himself for the things he had done, now he’s on the river’s side, in the middle of the rain, bring no umbrella, he needs to walk quite far to find a place for shelter. The rain wetted his nape, but Jun keeps walking, he can heard the sound of the thunder somewhere far from there.

“You’re stupid Jun,” he mumbled to himself, shivering from the cold which bite his skin, he just realized that he walked so far from his house to the river. He was surprised when a car suddenly stopped beside him, he turned his head and met Sakurai’s eyes. His boss looked at him confusingly but then opened his car’s door and gestured him to get in.

“Matsumoto san, what makes you wetting yourself under this pouring rain? Please get in, I’ll drive you home.”

Jun felt his face redden, the last person he wanted to meet right now is his boss who looks so neat with his black suit and his glasses. He glanced to his trousers which carry some mud, he can’t enter Sho’s car with this dirty clothes.

“I’m okay, I can’t make your car wet Sho san,” he spoke a little bit louder due to the hard rain.

“Don’t be stupid, get in or I will reduce your payment,” the lawyer said jokingly, Jun has no choice. He found himself sitting at the passenger seat inside Sho’s car towards his house. Sho didn’t ask him why he’s there, that makes Jun relieve since he doesn’t want to tell anyone about what kind of dilemma he’s facing right now. Sho just commented about the weather recently which can’t be predicted and about the case that he’s handling.

They arrived at Jun’s house, Jun thanked his boss and bowed to him. “See you in office tomorrow,” Sho waved his right hand to him and Jun replied half-hearted. He walked in to the house and find Ohno is waiting for him at their living room.

Jun stepped straightly to his room, he expected Ohno to say something to him, even an angry voice but his husband keep quite. He took hot shower and changed his clothes, throw his back to the bed surface. Ohno opened the door and turn on the light, his eyes moved to Jun who lay down with his arms as the pillow.

“I’m sorry,” Ohno said.

Why? Why are you so kind Satoshi? Jun shouted inside his mind, but your kindness is not enough to make me understand that you lose Sora as much as I do. 

*** 

Ohno departed at 6 am, Jun was still asleep and when he awoke, he found himself alone on the bed, he stared at the balcony through the glasses windows, the birds fly from one tree to another one. Seems so free and there’s nothing to think about. Jun wished he were one of those birds, fly everywhere he wants.

Nino already went to school, he’s completely alone there. He has to work today from 1 pm. Maybe he can make something at the kitchen, but there’s nothing on his refrigerator, so he cancelled it. He decided to buy breakfast at the nearest convenient store and enjoyed it while watching the morning news. His mind is not on the television, he thinks about Sho, wonder if the lawyer found more clues about his son.

The ring of his phone surprised him, it’s from Nino’s school. Jun gulped all of the bread in his mouth and answered the phone.

“Matsumoto san?” he heard a woman speaks at the other side.

“Yes I am.”

“Can you go to school right now? Nino had an accident during the sport lesson, his left ankle sprained.”

“What?” Jun choked by his bread, he coughed and try to answer properly, “I’ll be there in a moment,” Jun grabbed his jacket and ran outside, locked the door in hurry, wanted to arrive at school as fast as he can.

When he entered the school clinic, he saw Nino sat on the chair, winced in pain.

“Nino, are you okay?” Jun approached the kid who nodded to him despite of his painful expression.

“I’m sorry Matsumoto san,” the kid mumbled, Jun shook his head and stroke Nino’s hair gently, “It wasn’t your fault.” He said.

He thanked the young doctor who handled Nino and carry the kid home. Nino must take a rest from school until his ankle recovered but the kid denied the idea.

“I want to go to school, what about the test and my homework?” he protested the doctor who smiled patiently to the boy.

“As long as Nino doesn’t walk too much, perhaps you just need two days,” she glanced at Jun, “Your son is very clever, he’s good at many subjects.”

“Yes, he is,” Jun didn’t know the better answer, he bowed to the doctor and brought Nino home, Nino’s hand gripped his shoulder along the way, seems the kid wanted to say something to him.

“Matsumoto san, are you angry at me?” he finally speaks.

“No, I’m not. I worry so much about Nino,” Jun replied, he can’t see Nino’s face but he knows that the boy must be so sad right now. “Nino, do you still want to live with me and Satoshi?”

Jun was afraid to know the answer, what if Nino said no and choose to return to the orphanage and wait for the other foster parents, the better foster parents.

“Yes,” Nino said, Jun sighed in relieve, it was enough to make him calm right now. They arrived home and the sweat already wetted Jun’s forehead, he lifted Nino to his bed room, took Nino’s clothes and helped him changing his uniform. His ankle is reddened and a little bit swollen, Jun tried hard not to touch it when he helped the boy to wear his pants.

“Can you wait here, I’ll buy something for lunch.”

Nino nodded, carefully moved his injured ankle to the bed and he lay down there. Jun left the kid, wiped his sweat with the little towel and stepped outside once again.

Jun didn’t want to leave Nino to work, so he asked Sho whether he may bring Nino along with him to the office, his boss said yes and he was so glad to hear that. Nino looked happy instead of protest to Jun when he lifted him to his office under the sun shine. However, Nino can’t go to toilet by himself if Jun left him for four hours at home. Manabe gave him questioned gaze when he entered the office with Nino on his back.

“Good afternoon Manabe san,” Jun greeted the woman.

“Good afternoon,” she answered shortly, still locked his eyes to Nino.

Jun walked to the other room and seated Nino on the chair.

“Don’t make any noise here, okay.” Jun patted the kid’s head.

Nino nodded understandingly to him, right when Sho opened the door. The lawyer’s eyes goes straight to Nino, he smiled to both Jun and the kid. For some reason Jun felt something hit his rib, yes, his heart beat too fast this time….

To be continued.