The Place Where He is meant to be lost
Sep. 13th, 2014 10:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yun_miyakeTitle : The Place Where He is meant to be lost
Pairing : Matsumiya
Genre : Angst, tragedy, mystery
Length : one shot (5935 words)
Rating : PG (violence and character death)
Disclaimer : It was purely my imagination
Summary : It’s been three years since Jun decided to leave his career as the police. He did it in order to protect Kazu from any harm…
Warning : unbetaed, sorry for my bad English
Jun never wanted to recall the memories three years ago, the day he threw his police badge and decided to leave the city, beginning his new life far away from there. He still lived with thousand nightmares every single night, leaving him with the guilty feelings. He would wash his face and ran towards the room next to his, making sure that they were safe, that his little brother was still alive and breathed under the cover. He would cry silently, no matter how he tried to block the tears, it would still drop from his eyes to his cheeks, he denied remembering that gloomy day, but the tiny part of his brain couldn’t erase it completely, he was the reason of all the tragedies happened to them.
After the nightmare, he would stay awake until dawn, his eyes refused to close, his body declined to rest. Jun would start his activities in his cake shop earlier if he couldn’t sleep; working helped him to distract his mind from the bitter thought of the past. As he leaved the police troops, he decided to open a small cake shop in the town where he lived; it meant he didn’t need to work outside so he could lay an eye to his brother all day.
Jun often imagined, if he hadn’t left his profession as a police officer or if that hoodoo day never happened, what kind of life he would have now. He would still chase the bad guys all over the city, he would still carry the pistol on his waist, and his brother would never experience the gloomy life in his teenager era.
He mixed the cookie dough, trying to clear his mind, ‘it’s been three years’, he reminded himself. There’s nothing he could do to turn back the time and changed the reality. He accepted it bravely, seeing his brother survived his life was enough, if the faith led the younger to the death, Jun would never forgive himself, he would hang his neck right after.
***
Spring 2011
“Jun, don’t do something reckless, that guy belong to Andromeda group, it will be dangerous if we arrest him without enough strategy,” his friend from the same division, Okada gave his comment, “The other division had tried to do the same thing and they ended up died uselessly.”
“We never know till we have tried Okada,” Jun stubbornly answered, he had been preparing for this day since a long time.
They cornered the suspect, somebody named Kamenashi who was allegedly involved in drug smuggling in big amount all over the country and abroad. He didn’t work alone, but as far as Jun investigated, he found too many difficulties in collecting the supporting data of their group movement, maybe Okada was right, he was reckless, but Jun wanted to dig the information from this Kamenashi guy.
However, the furthest thing Kamenashi did was smirking. Jun never felt as frustrate as now in facing the suspect, he was the best in digging information out by threatening them or by violence but it didn’t affect anything on Kamenashi.
“Tell us about your group movement and how many people were involved?” Okada asked the young man, his voice was softer than Jun’s tone.
Nothing, but a smirk on Kamenashi’s lips, Jun was too angry; he landed a hard punch on the smirking face. The guy fell to the cold floor, wiping his bleeding lips and looking at Jun with mocking gaze but still, with no words.
“Enough Jun!” Okada held his fist, “We need time, let’s get out of here.” He let the other guy led him to the fending machine to grab some coffee.
“Beating him will give no result,” Okada started, “I think he was trained to keep silent.”
“Damn,” Jun grinded his teeth, “I will take the Andromeda down by my own hand.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Okada patted his shoulder, calming him down, “Listen to our superior, he has the strategy, he knows what to do. I beg you this time, don’t do something reckless.”
“Tsk,” Jun clicked his tongue, he couldn’t let the bad guys swarmed the city, spreading the drugs among youth, destroying their future. “I’ll end my shift,” he glanced at his wrist watch, throwing the can into the trash bin and leaving Okada behind. He would go home and clear his mind, his phone vibrated when he reached the parking area.
“J, can you pick me to the school. The math club ended longer than usual and I forgot my wallet. No money for train ticket.”
His seventeen years old little brother, Kazu called. Jun wondered how that kid knew he just finished his shift for today.
“I’ll be there, but no complain of patrol car,” Jun warned, Kazu didn’t like it, every time Jun appeared in front of his school with his patrol car.
“Don’t worry,” he answered and hung up. Jun ended the call, sliding his key from his pocket, unlocking the door and got in.
Since their parents died, Jun was the one who took the responsible in raising Kazu. He was seven years younger than Jun. Jun was tall with firm muscles meanwhile Kazu was rather short and skinny, but they shared the same pale skin and oval face. Kazu was the smartest student in his batch and he also good in sport, he was a member of baseball club and would have his match with the other school next week.
Both of them were lady killer, Jun was being favored by all of his women colleges at work, younger or older and the same thing applied for Kazu. Even though Jun didn’t have any desire to get married soon and he hadn’t found his type yet.
He stopped the car a few meters away from the school gate, waiting for Kazu to show up. Three or four students walked in a group, talking to each other, one of them glanced to Jun’s car and whispered to her friend. They looked curiously at him and the understanding covered their faces when Kazu appeared.
“I’m so tired,” Kazu murmured, jumping in to the front seat, fastening his seat belt and leaning his head to the chair.
“Your math Olympic is approaching,” Jun commented, driving the car to their house.
“You look irritated,” Kazu said after paying attention on Jun’s face.
“Another complicated day at the office,” he sighed deeply, feeding the car some gas as they were free from traffic light.
“How about you?”
“I have to teach math to the stupid girls,” Kazu murmured, sliding the trump cards from his pocket and starting playing magic trick with it. “Tomorrow I’ll be home late again, my coach will give us extra practice,” the younger added.
“Don’t force yourself too much,” Jun said, “You lose some weight again.”
“Don’t worry J,” Kazu gave him a weak smile.
Jun loved Kazu more than anyone in this world; they could talk like good friends. Usually brothers were lack of communication and ignored each other presence but in their case was different. Kazu discussed everything with Jun, including his broken heart matters or the teachers he disliked at school. Basically, he would tell every little thing happened in his school to Jun who listened patiently while finishing his report.
“J, look out!”
Jun pushed the brake with all his might, the sound of tire rubbed against the asphalt heard so loud in his ears. A man crossed the street, he was helping an old lady - Jun couldn’t see his face. He wore a black leather jacket above tight jeans. His head was covered with baseball cap; all Jun could see was his left ear. For some reason, it reminded him of Kamenashi, he could feel the cold aura through his patrol car glasses but maybe it was just his imagination. He was too frustrated because he couldn’t gain any information from Kamenashi, not yet, he thought.
“Clumsy guy,” he grinded his teeth, Kazu just shook his head, drowning into his card again.
***
“Kazu kun!”
Kazu paused his steps towards the baseball field when his physic teacher approached him.
“Would you mind substitute Ohkura in teaching first grade today? He was a little bit sick,” the teacher asked.
“I’m afraid I can’t,” Kazu shrugged a bit, “Baseball practice,” he added, pointing at his baseball bat, but when he turned around, his phone ringing and the unknown number was displayed. Kazu unlocked the screen, attaching it to his ear.
“Kazunari kun right?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
“I’m your brother’s college, he involved in accident, I’m waiting in front of your school if you want to go to the hospital.”
“What?! No way,” his heart raced, accident, hospital, he couldn’t arrange his thoughts. Jun was the only family he had, he would be completely alone if something happened to the older.
“Sensei, I have to go,” he bowed shortly to the teacher and ran towards the gate, forgetting his bag inside his locker, he tried to phone Jun’s number but only the voicemail answered. His panic thoughts led him into wild fantasies, did Jun die? Did someone shot him between his duties? police was the dangerous career path after all.
Kazu reached the school gate in no time, emerging towards the exit with the bat still on his left hand, he confusedly looked around, Jun’s colleges from work must be near. The sun was about to set at the west sky, he checked his phone to call the unknown number, but somebody caught him from behind, attaching something to his nose. Kazu couldn’t breathe, his body turned limp and his eyes started closing slowly. His phone and his bat hit the ground as he lost his conscious.
***
“Leave the school?”
Jun confusedly thinking, Kazu told him to pick him up late and the kid never left without informing him first. He had tried to call Kazu’s phone but it was out of reach. Kazu had phoned him a few times when he was still interrogating Kamenashi, he couldn’t answer his phone. What was going on, it was odd.
“Did you see who took him?”
“No,” the teacher shook his almost-bald head, “He ran away without saying anything, looked panic.”
“Panic?” Jun couldn’t think what made Kazu panic until he left the school unnoticeable. “Thank you Sensei,” Jun thanked the teacher, deciding to look for Kazu in other places, maybe he was bored staying at home and went somewhere; his first thought was game center.
Kamenashi clearly mocked him today which made him almost break his jaw if only Okada didn’t hold him to do so.
“You will regret it.”
Was the only sentence Kamenashi told him.
Jun hopelessly tried to call the younger again, but the voicemail answered him. He ran towards the game center, trying to find the boy among the teenagers who just finished their school. Was it related to Kamenashi case? Uninvited,
Okada’s words resounding in his ears.
“The other division had tried to do the same thing and they ended up died uselessly.”
Was there any possibility that somebody kidnapped Kazu? He cancelled his intention to look for Kazu here, he ran back to the police station, Kamenashi must knew something. Jun almost ran out of breath when he reached the interrogating room, Okada was still there, patiently questioning the suspect.
“Where is my brother?” Jun placed his fist on Kamenashi’s collar.
No answer, just a mocking smirk that Jun would never forgot for as long as he lived.
***
It was a dark cold room with humid air, no sound could be heard, just a tick-tock of a clock, which clearly wasn’t here, maybe in another room. Kazu adjusted his eyes to the darkness, he barely saw the old chair across from him and abandoned piano beside it. He guessed it was somebody’s warehouse in a basement.
He tried to move, his head was a little bit dizzy. He rose off the cold floor, stepping towards the door, it was locked. His hand searching for the phone inside his pocket, it wasn’t there; someone had taken it away from him.
Kazu collected his memories; he was kidnapped by unknown people. Somebody told him that Jun had involved in accident and he ended up here. He tried to open the door again, with force this time, hoping it was just a joke, but who would play this kind of stupid joke?
The light was on out of the blue, he narrowed his eyes as the strong light stabbing. He was inside a large dusty room; the piano in the corner was damaged and old, the chair next to it was dusty as well. Kazu shifted further from the door when he heard something – foot steps moving closer towards the room. He held his breaths, searching for a place to hide, but the room was empty, the piano couldn’t hide his body from sight.
Kazu waited until the door opened and he knew he was in great danger – nobody would help him. There were four men, all of them wore masks to cover their identity. They were tall except the one who carried the video camera on his right hand. They wore leather jackets with the similar pattern, each with ‘A’ letter printed on the left chest.
“Hello,” the man on the right side spoke through his mask, his voice was damped, “Do you know why are you here kid?”
Kazu didn’t answer, his muscles turned stiff, he was scared to death right now and he could feel his heart beat faster inside his ribs. He didn’t know why he was here, or who brought him and what would they do to him. His body began to sweat and he was trembling hardly, no chance to escape from here, there was only one door and now it was locked.
“Your beloved big brother arrested our comrade,” the same man spoke, “He didn’t know what kind of consequences waited for him, if he dares to harm our Andromeda member, he must feel the same way” he continued.
Kazu could sense that they were smirking beyond their masks, watching him cornered like a lost cat.
Andromeda, Kazu had heard the name from Jun. It was a kind of yakuza who delivered drugs all around the countries and that was all he knew. He didn’t bother to ask for details to Jun. It seemed that Jun arrested their members and he was here as the barter menu. Kazu’s stomach tensed up, these men would kill him and nobody could help, nobody knew that he was here.
Two of them caught Kazu’s hand easily; they were much bigger and stronger than him, the shortest among them switched the camera on, pointing it at him.
“Captain, what will we do to him?” the one who held Kazu’s left hand asked for instruction. The one they called captain was the shortest who was holding the handy cam.
“We’ll hurt him as much as his body can bear,” he answered lightly, his voice was mumbling, Kazu barely caught the words “Until his brother knows that arresting our comrade is the last thing police will do.”
Kazu tried to get free from the grip, but he has no chance. He didn’t expect a hard kick would land on his rib; he released a groan of pain and heard the short man laughed. He couldn’t do anything, the pain was still remained when another kick fell on his stomach, over and over until he knelt down, the pain was too much for his skinny body.
“Please, stop….” He tried to beg but these men were heartless, they punched his face instead. Kazu didn’t know how many punches he got on his body, he shut his eyes, hoping they would stop. One of the men played the old piano while the other kept on torturing him, the pain blinded him, he would die here and nobody would have known it. They were some kind of maniac, enjoying torturing him while playing the old piano as the back sound, their laughter was heard in between.
“J…h-el-p” he hopelessly called Jun, even though Jun would never appear from the door to rescue him.
“He asked for help,” one of them laughed amusingly, “Do you wish your brother will come?” he tugged Kazu’s hair, shaking his head roughly, “He will come kid, but when we finish with you, hahaha.”
He heard the captain instructed his man to phone the police officer but he didn’t know what they talked about since a hard thing landed on his right temple. The glass fragment stabbed his eyeball, sending him to the dusty floor because the pain was something unbearable. He heard the piano sound, the men’s laughter, the click sound of handy cam and his own harsh breath.
“Please,” he begged for the last time, his face was wet of blood and sweat; the shortest man looked into his left eye, as if he wanted to give the last memory to his frozen brain. He put off his mask, revealing a cruel face beyond it. Kazu wished he could scream, but his voice had left his body. The man smirked at him, the evil aura clearly shown in every inch of his tanned skin.
He took something from his inner part of his leather jacket, a small gun. Kazu knew he would send him to the another world in no time, he closed his left eye and felt something hard hit his knee, right on the kneecap. No voice came out from his lips, because he was too weak to do so. He lied down there but two pairs of hands caught him, carrying him somewhere.
***
The interrogating room turned chill and tense when Jun received a phone call from unknown person, using Kazu’s number. They sent him a short video, revealing the video when they tortured him out of humanity.
“If you’re late, your brother will die, running out of blood.”
The man’s voice resounded in his ears like a loud thunder, for ten seconds or more, he turned numb, the room spun around in front of him. He shivered in great anger, but couldn’t do anything, Kazu, his Kazu needed his help.
“If you don’t release Kamenashi, we will send your little brother to heaven, we give you ten minutes to think,” the man said before ending the call.
That was the hardest day of his life and the time Jun knew he was dead inside. He set Kamenashi free with the risk of losing his job, but he didn’t give a shit, he made sure the man got the message that he already agreed the dealt; now all he had to do was saving Kazu from whatever it was.
He fled from the office, ignoring Okada’s warning that it might be dangerous, he drove his patrol car like crazy towards the location on the GPS where Kazu located; he had around half an hour to find him and bring him to the hospital, if he still alive, the uninvited thought rushed to him.
The GPS signal led him to the abandoned building near the collapsed company, Jun jumped out from his car, running with all his might to find the exact place, he was deaf due to his shock and his brain could only think of saving Kazu.
He was beaten and he was bleeding, he might have died by now…
Please save him… he chanted a prayer deep down inside his head.
He ran and ran, until he found him, Jun rushed towards the unconscious body before him, Kazu’s eyes were shut, the right one was bleeding as well as his knee.
“Kazu,,” he hoisted him up to him, carrying him to the back seat of the car, his pulse was still beating, but by no means weak. Jun vaguely remembered how he reached the hospital, screaming in lunatic way to the doctors, how his logical was washed away by the unexpected happening. He didn’t know how much time left to save Kazu’s life, his body was trembling so hard when he waited at the waiting room, still couldn’t believe the reality.
He was thrown into the darkness, so deep that he couldn’t search for any light to enlighten his way. The arrest of Andromeda member was indeed reckless and stupid, just like Kamenashi had warned him, he regretted it now. He had failed in becoming a police and a brother, the great issue spread when he set Kamenashi free. His boss gave him an excuse but Jun didn’t want to continue his career path anymore, it led him to a tragedy where he almost lost Kazu or he already lost the younger in different term.
Kazu survived from his injury but he never became normal. His right eye was permanently blind, his left knee was permanently damaged, and he couldn’t walk normally for the rest of his life. He was unconscious for three days and when he opened his eyes, he didn’t recognize Jun immediately; he just stared blankly to the ceiling.
The doctor told him that Kazu might have experienced light amnesia due to the shock; Jun swallowed the information just like that, his brain was full of regrets, he was the one who experienced soul damaging. He didn’t follow the investigation which was done by Okada and the rest of the team members; all he wanted was go away. Saving Kazu from all of this, the younger couldn’t continue his old life anymore, he was damaged out and inside and Jun was the reason.
***
Autumn 2014
“Kazu, your lunch is ready.”
Jun brought the tray to the room where Kazu was, the younger was writing something on the paper before him. He drew the unreadable object again, just like another day.
“Do you want to go out?”
Kazu shook his head, he kept on drawing until Jun held his fingers softly, “Sho kun will come today, do you remember?”
Kazu gave a quick nod, “Eat your lunch,” Jun handed him the chopstick and the bowl. Kazu took it slowly, staring at the food for minutes before starting his lunch. Jun patted his head, leaving him there when somebody called from his shop.
Kazu won’t reveal anything from that day, not a single one, the police, the psychologist had tried to ask him in various ways, but Kazu only shook his head and stared blankly to the far place that didn’t really exist. He almost didn’t speak for all time, he cried when he couldn’t handle his feeling anymore, he drew in random places when he was bored.
Kazu got better since they lived here; he began to speak little by little, even though he only said two words in maximum. His old self was completely buried somewhere, in a deep well and nobody could take it back. Nobody could return his Kazu anymore, Jun already accepted the reality and he couldn’t stop blaming himself though.
He met a nice psychologist, Sakurai Sho last year; he worked at the main hospital in the town. Jun brought Kazu for monthly check up that time when they met; Sho put special interest in their case, knowing that Jun was a police before. He told Jun that his father was a police as well and died on duty, his family was in a mess right after, that was the reason he became a psychologist. He wanted to heal the wounded soul, but in Kazu’s case, he was not only wounded mentally, but also physically.
Today was Sho’s schedule to visit Kazu, Jun didn’t ask him in particular, but it seemed the psychologist put a liking in Kazu and he was so happy to find a little progress in the boy. Even though he knew that there was no way to bring Kazu to normal anymore.
Jun dashed to his shop, seeing Aiba, his most loyal customer was standing in front of the counter, picking his cakes.
“Jun, how are you?” he always started the conversation with those words.
“As always,” Jun shrugged, “I run out of stock,” he spread his sight to the pile of sugar which almost finished.
“Ohno kun is late again” Aiba commented. Jun nodded a bit, Ohno was the man who provided the stock for his shop and Jun had a crush on him, even though he hid it well, he didn’t want to make Kazu insecure, the younger denied meeting people except Sho or Aiba.
“I like your new creation,” Aiba pointed at the cheese-flavored cake with blueberry above it, “I can eat it all the time.”
“Really? Thank you,” Jun always wondered whether Aiba flirt on him or not, the guy had been buying the cakes in his shop for over six months and he came with cheesy compliments every time he could.
“Can I see Kazu today?” he asked.
“He’s having his lunch,” Jun tidy up the cakes position which was not necessary. Aiba took a seat while enjoying his cheese-blueberry cake.
“How is he?” he asked, chewing his cake slowly as if pervading every tiny part of it.
“He began to speak to me,” Jun happily said, “After two and half year of silence,” he continued.
“Don’t you want to look for the culprit?” Aiba asked again, “I mean it was clear that he was beaten by Andromeda gang members, but don’t you want to see them being punished by the law, if Kazu speaks again, he will be able to tell us how the culprit look like.”
“No!” Jun didn’t mean to yell at Aiba but he couldn’t hold himself, “I’m sorry Aiba kun,” he mumbled, hiding himself behind the counter, didn’t Aiba understand what kind of trauma that left in his heart? He was suffering to see Kazu like that; he wanted to keep him away from any harm, not again after that bloody day.
“Jun, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Aiba stood right next to him, giving him a friendly pat.
The door fluttered opened again and Sho stepped in. He greeted them with loud voice as always, he scanned around before walking towards the counter, he carried something on his hand, a set of coloring pencil.
“A gift for Kazu, he told me that he wanted to draw in color,” Sho explained after observing their puzzled look.
“S-sho kun.”
All of them turned their heads towards the door which connected the shop and the main house, Kazu was standing there, a weak smile appeared on his lips, his left eye locked on Sho’s figure.
“Kazu,” Jun was the fastest in approaching the younger, it was rare for Kazu to leave the room, he was afraid to meet people after all, “Did you finish your lunch?”
Kazu didn’t answer; he still looked at Sho sharply.
“I bought you coloring pencils,” Sho stepped to the door frame, his eyes were shady when he laid his eyes on Kazu’s face.
Jun smiled, maybe they shared something that he didn’t know, he let Sho accompanied Kazu back to his room. He returned to Aiba, right when a car stopped in front of his shop, Ohno has come with his usual truck, bringing him the stock from the city.
Jun felt something sparkled inside his chest when he saw the petite figure entering his shop, Ohno wasn’t that handsome or anything, but there was something inside him that moved Jun’s heart. He was shorter than Jun and a lot of skinnier, but for some reason, he was strong and kind of owning hidden power.
“Jun, I’m sorry for being late,” he said as he stood up right in front of Jun, the sweat covered his tanned forehead.
“No problem, I still have some sugar and powder for two or three days,” Jun said, paying attention to Ohno more than needed.
“I’ll move them now to your kitchen,” Ohno wiped his sweat with the back of his hand, stepping out again. Jun followed him outside; the heat of summer was still remained, causing the high humidity in the air.
“How is your brother lately?” Ohno asked while moving the sugar packs to the cart.
“He’s getting better,” Jun answered, managing to help the shorter, “He began to speak again.”
“Really? That’s great,” Ohno commented, a glimpse of unreadable expression covered his face, but soon it changed into his usual smile. They talked about other things around them, including the weather, the rising prices and so on, the conversation made Jun completely forgot that Aiba was still inside. The tall guy appeared minutes later with a plastic of cakes on his hand.
“Jun, I bought these,” he showed the plastic, “I left the money on the cashier desk,” he glanced unhappily to Ohno, didn’t bother to greet the man.
“Aiba kun, I’m sorry I was…” Jun laid his eyes on Ohno and then moved to Aiba, both of them formed unpleasant expression.
“Bye Jun,” he cut him before he finishing his sentence. Jun watched the tall guy pedaling his bicycle further from his shop.
“He’s a little bit weird,” Ohno commented, Jun didn’t reply, he felt sorry for Aiba, he would ask a proper apology the next day.
***
Kazu couldn’t close his eyes that night, the sleepy feeling won’t come. He rose off of his bed, drinking a glass of water and stepping out from his room. He peered to Jun’s room, he was sleeping soundly, slowly he brought his steps out of the house, and he left his crouches inside in order to avoid any sound.
He missed playing outside, but he couldn’t do it during the daylight. He was scared; the man from that day might still look for him. Kazu saw his face and he remembered every detail of it, he didn’t tell anyone, not even Jun. Those cold eyes have been haunting him for all these three years. The mumbling voice, the sun tanned skin, the long thin fingers which pulled the trigger to paralyze him. Imagining it made him scared to death, he could feel that man’s presence. He was close by, but Kazu couldn’t tell anyone. Jun, Sho, and Aiba would be in danger if he dared to speak.
The air was a little bit cold, but Kazu liked it, he inhaled deep breaths, tilting his head to the sky. The stars blinked at him, he paid attention to them for minutes, his head unexpectedly played the old song ‘when you wish upon a star’. Will the stars return his sight? Will the stars protect Jun forever?
He didn’t really remember what kind of life he had before that day. All he knew was Jun who protected him with all his might, Jun was his spirit to continue his life, Jun was the kindest person on earth.
Besides Jun, there was Sho, the soft-hearted psychologist who taught him how to live his empty life again. He really wanted to tell them how much they meant to him, but his head couldn’t think of proper words. His tongue couldn’t pronounce what he wanted to say; he kept silent all the time, letting three years passed by without telling anything to Jun or Sho.
He sat down at the old chair, staring to the thick darkness, the night helped him to relax, he lied down on the wooden lazy chair and stared at the sky, his blind right eye blocked him to see it clearly. Kazu blinked a few times and without him realizing it, he dozed off.
***
“Kazu!” Jun woke up in cold sweat, the same dream had come to him again, he rose quickly from his bed and emerged towards Kazu’s bedroom which was surprisingly empty.
“Kazu!” he called, he began to feel panic, it was still 3 am, where did Kazu go in this hour. He saw Kazu’s crutches beside the door frame; he dashed to the back yard and found the younger slept soundly on the wooden chair.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered in relieve, moving closer to the younger. His hands caressed Kazu’s hair softly, afraid of waking him up. He backed inside, taking the blanket for him and covered his skinny body; he joined the younger to sleep there until the morning comes. The day when his nightmare came true.
Jun believed that the town was the safest place in the world, where nobody would harm them or knowing their past, but he was completely wrong. He didn’t protect Kazu, oppositely he had brought Kazu to welcome his death sooner.
He just came back from his usual shopping that afternoon when he saw Kazu curled under his sheet, it was strange since the younger didn’t like napping, but he saw the red liquid strained the plain blue cloth and knew something was not right.
Somebody had shot Kazu on his chest but it seemed didn’t kill the kid right away, he was trying to reach the phone on the bed by pulling the sheet, but he was dead before he could do that.
Jun only stared at the scene without knowing what to do, his world turned upside down, he didn’t know how long he was standing there, until someone shook his shoulders. But he couldn’t respond, his senses were brought away, his brain was nothing but the emptiness. He was drowned to the emptiness, for how long, only god knows. His head only showed white empty room with Kazu inside it, his Kazu three years ago, when he was still normal and health. He chose to stay there, locking himself in that room and never want to get out.
***
“How is he?” Aiba peered to the room, where a man was holding his pillow tightly, speaking to the wall before him.
“He’s getting worse day by day,” Sho shook his head. It’s been six months; Jun didn’t make any progress at all. The man kept talking to the wall, as if he was in the cake shop, servicing his customers. Sometimes, he asked for a softball and starring at it the whole day. “His brain is completely damage,” he added, peering the room like what Aiba did.
Aiba was the only visitor Jun had, even though he knew he couldn’t communicate with the man. But he was glad enough just by seeing Jun inside his isolated room.
“Kazu’s murderer hasn’t caught yet,” Aiba mumbled, distracting his sight away from the handsome man whose life was wasted by his insanity.
“Arresting the murderer will not give any effect on him,” Sho shoved his papers to the clear folder and walked further from Jun’s room, Aiba followed a few steps behind.
They walked in silence along the corridor. Sho’s mind flew to Kazu, that kid knew something; he was murdered in order to keep it unrevealed. That particular man aroused his suspicion.
Sho almost reached his office when he saw a man walking from the opposite direction. The baseball hat hid half of his face; he wore a black jacket and tight jeans below it. His shoes hit the floor with strange sound. The man walked fast, passing him and Aiba, the flowers on his hands moved along with his steps rhythm. Sho felt a twinge on his stomach, he recognized the man, and he was the one who scared Kazu the most, why didn’t he realize it earlier.
“Sir, wait!” he dared to chase him.
The man spun on his heels, his hand moved to the hat on his head, he lifted it a little bit in order to look at Sho in the eye.
His lips formed a familiar smirk..
END
a/n : My first matsumiya fic, angst all the way
Pairing : Matsumiya
Genre : Angst, tragedy, mystery
Length : one shot (5935 words)
Rating : PG (violence and character death)
Disclaimer : It was purely my imagination
Summary : It’s been three years since Jun decided to leave his career as the police. He did it in order to protect Kazu from any harm…
Warning : unbetaed, sorry for my bad English
Jun never wanted to recall the memories three years ago, the day he threw his police badge and decided to leave the city, beginning his new life far away from there. He still lived with thousand nightmares every single night, leaving him with the guilty feelings. He would wash his face and ran towards the room next to his, making sure that they were safe, that his little brother was still alive and breathed under the cover. He would cry silently, no matter how he tried to block the tears, it would still drop from his eyes to his cheeks, he denied remembering that gloomy day, but the tiny part of his brain couldn’t erase it completely, he was the reason of all the tragedies happened to them.
After the nightmare, he would stay awake until dawn, his eyes refused to close, his body declined to rest. Jun would start his activities in his cake shop earlier if he couldn’t sleep; working helped him to distract his mind from the bitter thought of the past. As he leaved the police troops, he decided to open a small cake shop in the town where he lived; it meant he didn’t need to work outside so he could lay an eye to his brother all day.
Jun often imagined, if he hadn’t left his profession as a police officer or if that hoodoo day never happened, what kind of life he would have now. He would still chase the bad guys all over the city, he would still carry the pistol on his waist, and his brother would never experience the gloomy life in his teenager era.
He mixed the cookie dough, trying to clear his mind, ‘it’s been three years’, he reminded himself. There’s nothing he could do to turn back the time and changed the reality. He accepted it bravely, seeing his brother survived his life was enough, if the faith led the younger to the death, Jun would never forgive himself, he would hang his neck right after.
***
Spring 2011
“Jun, don’t do something reckless, that guy belong to Andromeda group, it will be dangerous if we arrest him without enough strategy,” his friend from the same division, Okada gave his comment, “The other division had tried to do the same thing and they ended up died uselessly.”
“We never know till we have tried Okada,” Jun stubbornly answered, he had been preparing for this day since a long time.
They cornered the suspect, somebody named Kamenashi who was allegedly involved in drug smuggling in big amount all over the country and abroad. He didn’t work alone, but as far as Jun investigated, he found too many difficulties in collecting the supporting data of their group movement, maybe Okada was right, he was reckless, but Jun wanted to dig the information from this Kamenashi guy.
However, the furthest thing Kamenashi did was smirking. Jun never felt as frustrate as now in facing the suspect, he was the best in digging information out by threatening them or by violence but it didn’t affect anything on Kamenashi.
“Tell us about your group movement and how many people were involved?” Okada asked the young man, his voice was softer than Jun’s tone.
Nothing, but a smirk on Kamenashi’s lips, Jun was too angry; he landed a hard punch on the smirking face. The guy fell to the cold floor, wiping his bleeding lips and looking at Jun with mocking gaze but still, with no words.
“Enough Jun!” Okada held his fist, “We need time, let’s get out of here.” He let the other guy led him to the fending machine to grab some coffee.
“Beating him will give no result,” Okada started, “I think he was trained to keep silent.”
“Damn,” Jun grinded his teeth, “I will take the Andromeda down by my own hand.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Okada patted his shoulder, calming him down, “Listen to our superior, he has the strategy, he knows what to do. I beg you this time, don’t do something reckless.”
“Tsk,” Jun clicked his tongue, he couldn’t let the bad guys swarmed the city, spreading the drugs among youth, destroying their future. “I’ll end my shift,” he glanced at his wrist watch, throwing the can into the trash bin and leaving Okada behind. He would go home and clear his mind, his phone vibrated when he reached the parking area.
“J, can you pick me to the school. The math club ended longer than usual and I forgot my wallet. No money for train ticket.”
His seventeen years old little brother, Kazu called. Jun wondered how that kid knew he just finished his shift for today.
“I’ll be there, but no complain of patrol car,” Jun warned, Kazu didn’t like it, every time Jun appeared in front of his school with his patrol car.
“Don’t worry,” he answered and hung up. Jun ended the call, sliding his key from his pocket, unlocking the door and got in.
Since their parents died, Jun was the one who took the responsible in raising Kazu. He was seven years younger than Jun. Jun was tall with firm muscles meanwhile Kazu was rather short and skinny, but they shared the same pale skin and oval face. Kazu was the smartest student in his batch and he also good in sport, he was a member of baseball club and would have his match with the other school next week.
Both of them were lady killer, Jun was being favored by all of his women colleges at work, younger or older and the same thing applied for Kazu. Even though Jun didn’t have any desire to get married soon and he hadn’t found his type yet.
He stopped the car a few meters away from the school gate, waiting for Kazu to show up. Three or four students walked in a group, talking to each other, one of them glanced to Jun’s car and whispered to her friend. They looked curiously at him and the understanding covered their faces when Kazu appeared.
“I’m so tired,” Kazu murmured, jumping in to the front seat, fastening his seat belt and leaning his head to the chair.
“Your math Olympic is approaching,” Jun commented, driving the car to their house.
“You look irritated,” Kazu said after paying attention on Jun’s face.
“Another complicated day at the office,” he sighed deeply, feeding the car some gas as they were free from traffic light.
“How about you?”
“I have to teach math to the stupid girls,” Kazu murmured, sliding the trump cards from his pocket and starting playing magic trick with it. “Tomorrow I’ll be home late again, my coach will give us extra practice,” the younger added.
“Don’t force yourself too much,” Jun said, “You lose some weight again.”
“Don’t worry J,” Kazu gave him a weak smile.
Jun loved Kazu more than anyone in this world; they could talk like good friends. Usually brothers were lack of communication and ignored each other presence but in their case was different. Kazu discussed everything with Jun, including his broken heart matters or the teachers he disliked at school. Basically, he would tell every little thing happened in his school to Jun who listened patiently while finishing his report.
“J, look out!”
Jun pushed the brake with all his might, the sound of tire rubbed against the asphalt heard so loud in his ears. A man crossed the street, he was helping an old lady - Jun couldn’t see his face. He wore a black leather jacket above tight jeans. His head was covered with baseball cap; all Jun could see was his left ear. For some reason, it reminded him of Kamenashi, he could feel the cold aura through his patrol car glasses but maybe it was just his imagination. He was too frustrated because he couldn’t gain any information from Kamenashi, not yet, he thought.
“Clumsy guy,” he grinded his teeth, Kazu just shook his head, drowning into his card again.
***
“Kazu kun!”
Kazu paused his steps towards the baseball field when his physic teacher approached him.
“Would you mind substitute Ohkura in teaching first grade today? He was a little bit sick,” the teacher asked.
“I’m afraid I can’t,” Kazu shrugged a bit, “Baseball practice,” he added, pointing at his baseball bat, but when he turned around, his phone ringing and the unknown number was displayed. Kazu unlocked the screen, attaching it to his ear.
“Kazunari kun right?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
“I’m your brother’s college, he involved in accident, I’m waiting in front of your school if you want to go to the hospital.”
“What?! No way,” his heart raced, accident, hospital, he couldn’t arrange his thoughts. Jun was the only family he had, he would be completely alone if something happened to the older.
“Sensei, I have to go,” he bowed shortly to the teacher and ran towards the gate, forgetting his bag inside his locker, he tried to phone Jun’s number but only the voicemail answered. His panic thoughts led him into wild fantasies, did Jun die? Did someone shot him between his duties? police was the dangerous career path after all.
Kazu reached the school gate in no time, emerging towards the exit with the bat still on his left hand, he confusedly looked around, Jun’s colleges from work must be near. The sun was about to set at the west sky, he checked his phone to call the unknown number, but somebody caught him from behind, attaching something to his nose. Kazu couldn’t breathe, his body turned limp and his eyes started closing slowly. His phone and his bat hit the ground as he lost his conscious.
***
“Leave the school?”
Jun confusedly thinking, Kazu told him to pick him up late and the kid never left without informing him first. He had tried to call Kazu’s phone but it was out of reach. Kazu had phoned him a few times when he was still interrogating Kamenashi, he couldn’t answer his phone. What was going on, it was odd.
“Did you see who took him?”
“No,” the teacher shook his almost-bald head, “He ran away without saying anything, looked panic.”
“Panic?” Jun couldn’t think what made Kazu panic until he left the school unnoticeable. “Thank you Sensei,” Jun thanked the teacher, deciding to look for Kazu in other places, maybe he was bored staying at home and went somewhere; his first thought was game center.
Kamenashi clearly mocked him today which made him almost break his jaw if only Okada didn’t hold him to do so.
“You will regret it.”
Was the only sentence Kamenashi told him.
Jun hopelessly tried to call the younger again, but the voicemail answered him. He ran towards the game center, trying to find the boy among the teenagers who just finished their school. Was it related to Kamenashi case? Uninvited,
Okada’s words resounding in his ears.
“The other division had tried to do the same thing and they ended up died uselessly.”
Was there any possibility that somebody kidnapped Kazu? He cancelled his intention to look for Kazu here, he ran back to the police station, Kamenashi must knew something. Jun almost ran out of breath when he reached the interrogating room, Okada was still there, patiently questioning the suspect.
“Where is my brother?” Jun placed his fist on Kamenashi’s collar.
No answer, just a mocking smirk that Jun would never forgot for as long as he lived.
***
It was a dark cold room with humid air, no sound could be heard, just a tick-tock of a clock, which clearly wasn’t here, maybe in another room. Kazu adjusted his eyes to the darkness, he barely saw the old chair across from him and abandoned piano beside it. He guessed it was somebody’s warehouse in a basement.
He tried to move, his head was a little bit dizzy. He rose off the cold floor, stepping towards the door, it was locked. His hand searching for the phone inside his pocket, it wasn’t there; someone had taken it away from him.
Kazu collected his memories; he was kidnapped by unknown people. Somebody told him that Jun had involved in accident and he ended up here. He tried to open the door again, with force this time, hoping it was just a joke, but who would play this kind of stupid joke?
The light was on out of the blue, he narrowed his eyes as the strong light stabbing. He was inside a large dusty room; the piano in the corner was damaged and old, the chair next to it was dusty as well. Kazu shifted further from the door when he heard something – foot steps moving closer towards the room. He held his breaths, searching for a place to hide, but the room was empty, the piano couldn’t hide his body from sight.
Kazu waited until the door opened and he knew he was in great danger – nobody would help him. There were four men, all of them wore masks to cover their identity. They were tall except the one who carried the video camera on his right hand. They wore leather jackets with the similar pattern, each with ‘A’ letter printed on the left chest.
“Hello,” the man on the right side spoke through his mask, his voice was damped, “Do you know why are you here kid?”
Kazu didn’t answer, his muscles turned stiff, he was scared to death right now and he could feel his heart beat faster inside his ribs. He didn’t know why he was here, or who brought him and what would they do to him. His body began to sweat and he was trembling hardly, no chance to escape from here, there was only one door and now it was locked.
“Your beloved big brother arrested our comrade,” the same man spoke, “He didn’t know what kind of consequences waited for him, if he dares to harm our Andromeda member, he must feel the same way” he continued.
Kazu could sense that they were smirking beyond their masks, watching him cornered like a lost cat.
Andromeda, Kazu had heard the name from Jun. It was a kind of yakuza who delivered drugs all around the countries and that was all he knew. He didn’t bother to ask for details to Jun. It seemed that Jun arrested their members and he was here as the barter menu. Kazu’s stomach tensed up, these men would kill him and nobody could help, nobody knew that he was here.
Two of them caught Kazu’s hand easily; they were much bigger and stronger than him, the shortest among them switched the camera on, pointing it at him.
“Captain, what will we do to him?” the one who held Kazu’s left hand asked for instruction. The one they called captain was the shortest who was holding the handy cam.
“We’ll hurt him as much as his body can bear,” he answered lightly, his voice was mumbling, Kazu barely caught the words “Until his brother knows that arresting our comrade is the last thing police will do.”
Kazu tried to get free from the grip, but he has no chance. He didn’t expect a hard kick would land on his rib; he released a groan of pain and heard the short man laughed. He couldn’t do anything, the pain was still remained when another kick fell on his stomach, over and over until he knelt down, the pain was too much for his skinny body.
“Please, stop….” He tried to beg but these men were heartless, they punched his face instead. Kazu didn’t know how many punches he got on his body, he shut his eyes, hoping they would stop. One of the men played the old piano while the other kept on torturing him, the pain blinded him, he would die here and nobody would have known it. They were some kind of maniac, enjoying torturing him while playing the old piano as the back sound, their laughter was heard in between.
“J…h-el-p” he hopelessly called Jun, even though Jun would never appear from the door to rescue him.
“He asked for help,” one of them laughed amusingly, “Do you wish your brother will come?” he tugged Kazu’s hair, shaking his head roughly, “He will come kid, but when we finish with you, hahaha.”
He heard the captain instructed his man to phone the police officer but he didn’t know what they talked about since a hard thing landed on his right temple. The glass fragment stabbed his eyeball, sending him to the dusty floor because the pain was something unbearable. He heard the piano sound, the men’s laughter, the click sound of handy cam and his own harsh breath.
“Please,” he begged for the last time, his face was wet of blood and sweat; the shortest man looked into his left eye, as if he wanted to give the last memory to his frozen brain. He put off his mask, revealing a cruel face beyond it. Kazu wished he could scream, but his voice had left his body. The man smirked at him, the evil aura clearly shown in every inch of his tanned skin.
He took something from his inner part of his leather jacket, a small gun. Kazu knew he would send him to the another world in no time, he closed his left eye and felt something hard hit his knee, right on the kneecap. No voice came out from his lips, because he was too weak to do so. He lied down there but two pairs of hands caught him, carrying him somewhere.
***
The interrogating room turned chill and tense when Jun received a phone call from unknown person, using Kazu’s number. They sent him a short video, revealing the video when they tortured him out of humanity.
“If you’re late, your brother will die, running out of blood.”
The man’s voice resounded in his ears like a loud thunder, for ten seconds or more, he turned numb, the room spun around in front of him. He shivered in great anger, but couldn’t do anything, Kazu, his Kazu needed his help.
“If you don’t release Kamenashi, we will send your little brother to heaven, we give you ten minutes to think,” the man said before ending the call.
That was the hardest day of his life and the time Jun knew he was dead inside. He set Kamenashi free with the risk of losing his job, but he didn’t give a shit, he made sure the man got the message that he already agreed the dealt; now all he had to do was saving Kazu from whatever it was.
He fled from the office, ignoring Okada’s warning that it might be dangerous, he drove his patrol car like crazy towards the location on the GPS where Kazu located; he had around half an hour to find him and bring him to the hospital, if he still alive, the uninvited thought rushed to him.
The GPS signal led him to the abandoned building near the collapsed company, Jun jumped out from his car, running with all his might to find the exact place, he was deaf due to his shock and his brain could only think of saving Kazu.
He was beaten and he was bleeding, he might have died by now…
Please save him… he chanted a prayer deep down inside his head.
He ran and ran, until he found him, Jun rushed towards the unconscious body before him, Kazu’s eyes were shut, the right one was bleeding as well as his knee.
“Kazu,,” he hoisted him up to him, carrying him to the back seat of the car, his pulse was still beating, but by no means weak. Jun vaguely remembered how he reached the hospital, screaming in lunatic way to the doctors, how his logical was washed away by the unexpected happening. He didn’t know how much time left to save Kazu’s life, his body was trembling so hard when he waited at the waiting room, still couldn’t believe the reality.
He was thrown into the darkness, so deep that he couldn’t search for any light to enlighten his way. The arrest of Andromeda member was indeed reckless and stupid, just like Kamenashi had warned him, he regretted it now. He had failed in becoming a police and a brother, the great issue spread when he set Kamenashi free. His boss gave him an excuse but Jun didn’t want to continue his career path anymore, it led him to a tragedy where he almost lost Kazu or he already lost the younger in different term.
Kazu survived from his injury but he never became normal. His right eye was permanently blind, his left knee was permanently damaged, and he couldn’t walk normally for the rest of his life. He was unconscious for three days and when he opened his eyes, he didn’t recognize Jun immediately; he just stared blankly to the ceiling.
The doctor told him that Kazu might have experienced light amnesia due to the shock; Jun swallowed the information just like that, his brain was full of regrets, he was the one who experienced soul damaging. He didn’t follow the investigation which was done by Okada and the rest of the team members; all he wanted was go away. Saving Kazu from all of this, the younger couldn’t continue his old life anymore, he was damaged out and inside and Jun was the reason.
***
Autumn 2014
“Kazu, your lunch is ready.”
Jun brought the tray to the room where Kazu was, the younger was writing something on the paper before him. He drew the unreadable object again, just like another day.
“Do you want to go out?”
Kazu shook his head, he kept on drawing until Jun held his fingers softly, “Sho kun will come today, do you remember?”
Kazu gave a quick nod, “Eat your lunch,” Jun handed him the chopstick and the bowl. Kazu took it slowly, staring at the food for minutes before starting his lunch. Jun patted his head, leaving him there when somebody called from his shop.
Kazu won’t reveal anything from that day, not a single one, the police, the psychologist had tried to ask him in various ways, but Kazu only shook his head and stared blankly to the far place that didn’t really exist. He almost didn’t speak for all time, he cried when he couldn’t handle his feeling anymore, he drew in random places when he was bored.
Kazu got better since they lived here; he began to speak little by little, even though he only said two words in maximum. His old self was completely buried somewhere, in a deep well and nobody could take it back. Nobody could return his Kazu anymore, Jun already accepted the reality and he couldn’t stop blaming himself though.
He met a nice psychologist, Sakurai Sho last year; he worked at the main hospital in the town. Jun brought Kazu for monthly check up that time when they met; Sho put special interest in their case, knowing that Jun was a police before. He told Jun that his father was a police as well and died on duty, his family was in a mess right after, that was the reason he became a psychologist. He wanted to heal the wounded soul, but in Kazu’s case, he was not only wounded mentally, but also physically.
Today was Sho’s schedule to visit Kazu, Jun didn’t ask him in particular, but it seemed the psychologist put a liking in Kazu and he was so happy to find a little progress in the boy. Even though he knew that there was no way to bring Kazu to normal anymore.
Jun dashed to his shop, seeing Aiba, his most loyal customer was standing in front of the counter, picking his cakes.
“Jun, how are you?” he always started the conversation with those words.
“As always,” Jun shrugged, “I run out of stock,” he spread his sight to the pile of sugar which almost finished.
“Ohno kun is late again” Aiba commented. Jun nodded a bit, Ohno was the man who provided the stock for his shop and Jun had a crush on him, even though he hid it well, he didn’t want to make Kazu insecure, the younger denied meeting people except Sho or Aiba.
“I like your new creation,” Aiba pointed at the cheese-flavored cake with blueberry above it, “I can eat it all the time.”
“Really? Thank you,” Jun always wondered whether Aiba flirt on him or not, the guy had been buying the cakes in his shop for over six months and he came with cheesy compliments every time he could.
“Can I see Kazu today?” he asked.
“He’s having his lunch,” Jun tidy up the cakes position which was not necessary. Aiba took a seat while enjoying his cheese-blueberry cake.
“How is he?” he asked, chewing his cake slowly as if pervading every tiny part of it.
“He began to speak to me,” Jun happily said, “After two and half year of silence,” he continued.
“Don’t you want to look for the culprit?” Aiba asked again, “I mean it was clear that he was beaten by Andromeda gang members, but don’t you want to see them being punished by the law, if Kazu speaks again, he will be able to tell us how the culprit look like.”
“No!” Jun didn’t mean to yell at Aiba but he couldn’t hold himself, “I’m sorry Aiba kun,” he mumbled, hiding himself behind the counter, didn’t Aiba understand what kind of trauma that left in his heart? He was suffering to see Kazu like that; he wanted to keep him away from any harm, not again after that bloody day.
“Jun, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Aiba stood right next to him, giving him a friendly pat.
The door fluttered opened again and Sho stepped in. He greeted them with loud voice as always, he scanned around before walking towards the counter, he carried something on his hand, a set of coloring pencil.
“A gift for Kazu, he told me that he wanted to draw in color,” Sho explained after observing their puzzled look.
“S-sho kun.”
All of them turned their heads towards the door which connected the shop and the main house, Kazu was standing there, a weak smile appeared on his lips, his left eye locked on Sho’s figure.
“Kazu,” Jun was the fastest in approaching the younger, it was rare for Kazu to leave the room, he was afraid to meet people after all, “Did you finish your lunch?”
Kazu didn’t answer; he still looked at Sho sharply.
“I bought you coloring pencils,” Sho stepped to the door frame, his eyes were shady when he laid his eyes on Kazu’s face.
Jun smiled, maybe they shared something that he didn’t know, he let Sho accompanied Kazu back to his room. He returned to Aiba, right when a car stopped in front of his shop, Ohno has come with his usual truck, bringing him the stock from the city.
Jun felt something sparkled inside his chest when he saw the petite figure entering his shop, Ohno wasn’t that handsome or anything, but there was something inside him that moved Jun’s heart. He was shorter than Jun and a lot of skinnier, but for some reason, he was strong and kind of owning hidden power.
“Jun, I’m sorry for being late,” he said as he stood up right in front of Jun, the sweat covered his tanned forehead.
“No problem, I still have some sugar and powder for two or three days,” Jun said, paying attention to Ohno more than needed.
“I’ll move them now to your kitchen,” Ohno wiped his sweat with the back of his hand, stepping out again. Jun followed him outside; the heat of summer was still remained, causing the high humidity in the air.
“How is your brother lately?” Ohno asked while moving the sugar packs to the cart.
“He’s getting better,” Jun answered, managing to help the shorter, “He began to speak again.”
“Really? That’s great,” Ohno commented, a glimpse of unreadable expression covered his face, but soon it changed into his usual smile. They talked about other things around them, including the weather, the rising prices and so on, the conversation made Jun completely forgot that Aiba was still inside. The tall guy appeared minutes later with a plastic of cakes on his hand.
“Jun, I bought these,” he showed the plastic, “I left the money on the cashier desk,” he glanced unhappily to Ohno, didn’t bother to greet the man.
“Aiba kun, I’m sorry I was…” Jun laid his eyes on Ohno and then moved to Aiba, both of them formed unpleasant expression.
“Bye Jun,” he cut him before he finishing his sentence. Jun watched the tall guy pedaling his bicycle further from his shop.
“He’s a little bit weird,” Ohno commented, Jun didn’t reply, he felt sorry for Aiba, he would ask a proper apology the next day.
***
Kazu couldn’t close his eyes that night, the sleepy feeling won’t come. He rose off of his bed, drinking a glass of water and stepping out from his room. He peered to Jun’s room, he was sleeping soundly, slowly he brought his steps out of the house, and he left his crouches inside in order to avoid any sound.
He missed playing outside, but he couldn’t do it during the daylight. He was scared; the man from that day might still look for him. Kazu saw his face and he remembered every detail of it, he didn’t tell anyone, not even Jun. Those cold eyes have been haunting him for all these three years. The mumbling voice, the sun tanned skin, the long thin fingers which pulled the trigger to paralyze him. Imagining it made him scared to death, he could feel that man’s presence. He was close by, but Kazu couldn’t tell anyone. Jun, Sho, and Aiba would be in danger if he dared to speak.
The air was a little bit cold, but Kazu liked it, he inhaled deep breaths, tilting his head to the sky. The stars blinked at him, he paid attention to them for minutes, his head unexpectedly played the old song ‘when you wish upon a star’. Will the stars return his sight? Will the stars protect Jun forever?
He didn’t really remember what kind of life he had before that day. All he knew was Jun who protected him with all his might, Jun was his spirit to continue his life, Jun was the kindest person on earth.
Besides Jun, there was Sho, the soft-hearted psychologist who taught him how to live his empty life again. He really wanted to tell them how much they meant to him, but his head couldn’t think of proper words. His tongue couldn’t pronounce what he wanted to say; he kept silent all the time, letting three years passed by without telling anything to Jun or Sho.
He sat down at the old chair, staring to the thick darkness, the night helped him to relax, he lied down on the wooden lazy chair and stared at the sky, his blind right eye blocked him to see it clearly. Kazu blinked a few times and without him realizing it, he dozed off.
***
“Kazu!” Jun woke up in cold sweat, the same dream had come to him again, he rose quickly from his bed and emerged towards Kazu’s bedroom which was surprisingly empty.
“Kazu!” he called, he began to feel panic, it was still 3 am, where did Kazu go in this hour. He saw Kazu’s crutches beside the door frame; he dashed to the back yard and found the younger slept soundly on the wooden chair.
“What are you doing here?” he whispered in relieve, moving closer to the younger. His hands caressed Kazu’s hair softly, afraid of waking him up. He backed inside, taking the blanket for him and covered his skinny body; he joined the younger to sleep there until the morning comes. The day when his nightmare came true.
Jun believed that the town was the safest place in the world, where nobody would harm them or knowing their past, but he was completely wrong. He didn’t protect Kazu, oppositely he had brought Kazu to welcome his death sooner.
He just came back from his usual shopping that afternoon when he saw Kazu curled under his sheet, it was strange since the younger didn’t like napping, but he saw the red liquid strained the plain blue cloth and knew something was not right.
Somebody had shot Kazu on his chest but it seemed didn’t kill the kid right away, he was trying to reach the phone on the bed by pulling the sheet, but he was dead before he could do that.
Jun only stared at the scene without knowing what to do, his world turned upside down, he didn’t know how long he was standing there, until someone shook his shoulders. But he couldn’t respond, his senses were brought away, his brain was nothing but the emptiness. He was drowned to the emptiness, for how long, only god knows. His head only showed white empty room with Kazu inside it, his Kazu three years ago, when he was still normal and health. He chose to stay there, locking himself in that room and never want to get out.
***
“How is he?” Aiba peered to the room, where a man was holding his pillow tightly, speaking to the wall before him.
“He’s getting worse day by day,” Sho shook his head. It’s been six months; Jun didn’t make any progress at all. The man kept talking to the wall, as if he was in the cake shop, servicing his customers. Sometimes, he asked for a softball and starring at it the whole day. “His brain is completely damage,” he added, peering the room like what Aiba did.
Aiba was the only visitor Jun had, even though he knew he couldn’t communicate with the man. But he was glad enough just by seeing Jun inside his isolated room.
“Kazu’s murderer hasn’t caught yet,” Aiba mumbled, distracting his sight away from the handsome man whose life was wasted by his insanity.
“Arresting the murderer will not give any effect on him,” Sho shoved his papers to the clear folder and walked further from Jun’s room, Aiba followed a few steps behind.
They walked in silence along the corridor. Sho’s mind flew to Kazu, that kid knew something; he was murdered in order to keep it unrevealed. That particular man aroused his suspicion.
Sho almost reached his office when he saw a man walking from the opposite direction. The baseball hat hid half of his face; he wore a black jacket and tight jeans below it. His shoes hit the floor with strange sound. The man walked fast, passing him and Aiba, the flowers on his hands moved along with his steps rhythm. Sho felt a twinge on his stomach, he recognized the man, and he was the one who scared Kazu the most, why didn’t he realize it earlier.
“Sir, wait!” he dared to chase him.
The man spun on his heels, his hand moved to the hat on his head, he lifted it a little bit in order to look at Sho in the eye.
His lips formed a familiar smirk..
END
a/n : My first matsumiya fic, angst all the way
