Begin Again part 2
Mar. 3rd, 2017 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yun_miyakeUnder the cut
The yoghurt they made with the strawberries from Jun and Aiba's farm was as delicious as always. Ohno even commented that the current production was tastier. Sho had sent a few bottles to Jun and Aiba. Both of them thanked him by sending him pictures of themselves enjoying the yoghurt at the hut.
Sho looked at Jun’s expression. His smile was too bright. He ended up looking at Jun’s lips. How it would feel to kiss those lips? He didn't have time to think about that. He had a meeting with his team and he needed to concentrate.
Nino was waiting at the meeting room when Sho entered. He had prepared the projector and had delivered the copies on the desk.
“Ohchan likes the new yoghurts’ taste,” Nino said.
“Ohchan?” Sho raised his eyebrows.
“Ohno kun.” Nino rolled his eyes. “By the way, I’m getting married by the end of this month.”
Sho almost choked on the water he was drinking. He looked at Nino as if it was the first time he actually saw him. Nino would be getting married to someone else. It sounded so wrong to Sho. He couldn't let that happen.
“You can’t marry him,” Sho said, not even giving himself time to think of the proper words to say.
“Excuse me?” Nino said, looking offended. Usually, Nino would answer casually, but this time he looked serious and perhaps a little bit angry. “I’m free to marry anyone I like, you have no business with my life.”
Sho wanted to apologize for his stupidity, but his tongue was tied. Nino angrily turned on the computer and sat down on the chair. He was extremely silent from the moment the others arrived and the meeting started. Sho wanted to kick himself for saying what he said. He should have just congratulated Nino and told him that he was happy for him, even if it was a lie.
Sho didn’t know why he had turned into a moron recently. Actually, he did. He was bitter about being dumped, especially after Nino got a new boyfriend in what he perceived as a very short time. And while he was still hurting, Nino was planning to get married! With a guy who was obviously a better match than Sho for him – Sho had to admit that much – no less! It made Sho feel terrible, enough to react like that to Nino's news.
Sho's phone rang. It was the last person he expected to call him in such a moment.
“Ohno san, nice to hear from you, how may I assist you?” Sho tried to suppress the bitterness in his tone.
“Hi, Sho kun. I just wanted to tell you that your new yoghurts have been sold out, and I wonder if you could re-stock this week.” Ohno’s tone was cheerful – well, it wasn't strange, knowing that Ohno's business was running smoothly and he would be getting married soon.
“Oh, about that,” Sho hadn’t checked the strawberries supplies and he couldn’t promise Ohno the same amount of yoghurt if Jun’s farm couldn’t provide all the strawberries they needed. “Let me check, Ohno san. I’ll call you back right away.”
“Okay,” Ohno answered. An odd silence fell between them afterwards. “Is Nino there with you?”
“No,” Sho replied immediately, “he’s not here.”
“When you see him, please tell him to reply my LINE,” Ohno said.
Sho rolled his eyes. What was he now, Nino and Ohno’s errands boy?
“I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Bye, Sho kun.”
Ohno hung up, but Sho needed a few seconds to pull away his phone off his ear. It was weird, doing business with his ex’s new boyfriend, and he simply could do nothing to get them away from his life. Sho felt that he was trapped in a big cage. He wanted to be free from his agony, to forget all of this.
He rose off his chair and went to the storage room at the basement to check the strawberry stock. I It seemed enough for three more days of production, so he still had time to pay another visit to the farm. He called Ohno’s secretary to inform him of the re-stock possibility and headed out. He planned to have lunch outside of the office in order to improve his chaotic mood a bit.
He drove towards the shopping mall near the station and went to eat okonomiyaki. It had been ages since he had lunch here. He always bought a lunch box from the convenience store on his way to the office and ate it on his desk while working. The restaurant was crowded, Sho needed to queue for a while. He was flipping the menu to choose what he should have when somebody patted his shoulder from behind.
He turned around and found Jun. He almost didn’t recognize the man in his office attire. Jun’s hair was nicely combed, and he wore glasses which perfectly fit his face. His simple shirt didn’t hide his handsome figure, on the opposite, it showed Jun’s elegant side.
“Hi,” Jun said, smiling widely at Sho.
“Jun.” Sho didn’t know why, but he blushed all of a sudden. “Hi.”
“Would you share a table with me? It will reduce the queue,” Jun suggested.
Sho mumbled his agreement and told the waiter to prepare the table for two persons. Meeting Jun was the last thing he wanted when he was in such a chaotic mood, but it was a pure coincidence. He couldn’t just leave and find another place to have lunch though – it would offend Jun.
The same waiter gestured to them to enter and guided them to the table. Both of them made their order and waited for the food to be served. Sho looked at anywhere but Jun. He felt anxious.
“Sho kun, are you okay?” Jun asked.
“Er-, yes, I’m okay,” Sho said, drinking the water nervously.
“You seem upset. What happened?”
Sho wanted to tell Jun about Nino’s upcoming wedding and how it had sent him to the rock bottom, but he couldn’t say a thing. He kept silent while shaking his head. Jun seemed to give up on the topic, although he still eyed Sho with a worried expression. They continued talking about other things as they waited for their food.
“Can I visit your company?” Jun asked out of the blue.
“Don't you have work?” Sho asked.
“I’ve finished my classes for the day and I can return later to the farm.”
“There’s nothing interesting in my factory,” Sho said, trying to make an excuse. “You’d be stinking by the time you left.”
“It’s fine.” Jun waved his hand.
Sho smiled for the first time at Jun that afternoon. They ended up talking about their love life. Jun had dated a few men, but his relationships ended up either because of cheating or long distance. Sho couldn’t believe there was someone who cheated on Jun.
Sho told Jun about Nino – how their relationship ended for reasons Sho couldn’t understand, or rather accept.
“You need to give yourself another chance,” Jun said, cutting the okonomiyaki as their orders arrived. The aroma fulfilled the air. Sho’s empty stomach already craved for food. He cut his okonomiyaki with more strength than needed.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t need to be afraid to fall in love again,” Jun said lightly. “Or you can just pity yourself for as long as you like, until you realize that Ninomiya kun is not going to be with you again, as simple as that,” he shrugged.
“It’s easier said than done,” Sho replied. “I mean, you’re right, but I don't think I can do that now,” he said, noticing a strange expression crossing Jun’s face.
They continued lunch in silence. Sho thought that Jun wouldn’t talk to him again that day, but he returned to his normal mood when they headed together to Sho’s factory in Sho's car. He told Sho about his class, which mostly consisted of "nerdy students"; none of them seemed interested in what was going on in this world, aside from their classes.
“They don’t even watch movies,” Jun said, shaking his head. “I doubt any of them even thinks about having a relationship with someone.”
“I think I was one of those students back then,” Sho said. He recalled how nerdy he was when he was still in university. All he cared about was studying, joining seminar and writing thick paper. “Really? You don’t look like one.” Jun turned to look at him as if trying to find any signs of Sho's nerdy side.
“I wasn’t popular at all,” Sho said. “I’m not proud of it.”
“So, how did you change?” Jun asked.
Sho didn’t answer. Nino was the one who changed him, or rather he decided to change because of Nino. Nino never pushed him to change his appearance, but Sho knew he had to change if he wanted to have a date with Nino. They were very different. When they met for the first time, Nino was dating someone five years older than him. That guy was Sho's complete opposite, so Sho thought he didn't stand a chance, not even after Nino got dumped by him. It had taken all of Sho’s bravery to ask Nino out. His heart almost exploded when they kissed for the first time.
“Nino told me about you,” Jun said, snapping Sho out of his reverie. “He told me that you were so kind.”
Sho snorted. He was sure that ‘kind’ was just Nino's polite way to say that he was ‘tame’. He waited for Jun to continue, but Jun didn't add anything else. He simply continued driving, lost in his thoughts once again.
They reached the factory some minutes later. Both of them got out of the car and walked towards the entrance.
“My office is in the second floor,” Sho said, leading the way.
Jun nodded and followed him. When they met Nino at the stairs, Nino greeted them happily, his eyes fixed on Jun with a curious look. Then he just winked at Jun and climbed down the stairs.
“I can’t believe that he’s getting married by the end of this month,” Sho mumbled, more to himself than Jun.
“No wonder he looks like he's glowing.” Jun chuckled.
“His future husband is our business partner, a man named Ohno Satoshi,” Sho said, deciding to tell Jun because he couldn’t think of another topic to talk about.
“Ohno kun?” Jun raised his eyebrow.
“You know him?” Sho asked.
“We got our Master Degree at the same university. We happened to meet up at the library in a regular basis and became friends. He’s a smart guy,” Jun said. “He told me that he would be getting married, but I didn't know that his fiancé was Ninomiya kun.”
“Well… it's a small world.” Sho shrugged. “Would you like something to drink?”
Jun shook his head and took a seat on the sofa, his eyes wandering around the office. He stopped when his gaze met with Sho. This time Sho didn’t avert his gaze. He looked into Jun’s beautiful eyes, trying to read what was Jun thinking.
“We could go together to their wedding,” Jun said all of a sudden as if it was the most normal thing to do.
“I-I…don’t…”
Sho knew that he had said something wrong. He bit his lower lip, wanting to take back what he had just said, but Jun told him that it was okay if Sho didn’t want to go. Then he asked Sho to show him around the yoghurt production facilities. It seemed he didn't want to resume their talk about Nino and Ohno’s wedding.
“Thanks for today, Sho kun. I have to return to work now,” Jun said, bowing slightly at Sho. He declined Sho's offer to drive him back to his workplace.
Sho watched as Jun left. He felt stupid for turning down Jun’s invitation. He was so lost on his thoughts that he was startled when Nino patted his shoulder from behind.
“He’s very good looking. And he's also a really nice guy, you know,” Nino said.
“Yeah.”
“He likes you,” Nino added.
“Nino, are you making fun of me?”
Nino laughed and shook his head. “Poor Jun kun! He’s in love with an idiot. I pity him.”
“In love?”
Nino didn’t answer. He had already left in direction to the storage room, leaving Sho with too many things to think about.
***
Jun wasn’t at his farm when Sho went there the following week. Aiba mentioned that Jun had something to take care of outside of town and wouldn't be back until next Sunday. Disappointed, Sho picked strawberries all alone (Nino hadn't gone with him because of his wedding preparation).
Sho couldn’t believe his bad luck. He had gone there with the intention to meet Jun and invite him for a drink. He had come to a decision to give himself a chance. He had concluded that what he felt for Jun was more than just wanting to become friends.
It was hard for him to understand his own feelings after Nino broke up with him. He didn’t even realize that Jun was interested in him, romantically. Jun was probably disappointed when Sho turned him down. Sho took a deep breath and continued picking strawberries without any enthusiasm.
He kept thinking about his situation, realizing that whatever chance he had of being with Jun would slip away unless he took the initiative. Wasn't that what happened with Nino? Maybe the reason Nino called him 'tame' back then was exactly that: he hardly ever made the first step, aside from that time he asked Nino out.
But what could he do about Jun? Was there anything to do at all? They hadn't even started dating and it seemed he had already messed up.
Sho returned to the company that night and had his staff take care of the strawberries. He felt tired. He needed to see Jun tonight. He knew that he would regret it if he couldn’t talk to Jun. He called Aiba to ask him about Jun’s whereabouts. Aiba didn’t question his motives and gave Sho the address of Jun's hotel, wishing him good luck.
Jun was attending a seminar in Hamamatsu. It was quite a long distance. It took about four hours by car. Sho knew that what he was about to do was stupid – perhaps the most stupid thing he had ever done. He poured coffee into the tumbler, stuffed some bread into his bag, grabbed his jacket, and headed towards the parking lot. It was 7 in the evening. Jun would probably be sleeping by the time he reached Hamamatsu, but it would be enough if he was at the same place.
Sho put on his jacket as he climbed down the stairs.; Aiba had mentioned that Jun probably paid a visit to one of his professors’ house tonight, so there might be a chance Sho could catch him awake depending on how late he returned to the hotel.
Sho got in his car and started the engine. When he entered the highway, he realized the flaws of his 'plan' to meet Jun at the hotel. What if Jun chose to stay over at the professor’s place? What if the seminar had ended faster and Jun had returned to Tokyo? What if he was there with another man?
He should have called beforehand to tell Jun that he was heading to Hamamatsu, but what would have he said?
“Hi, Jun, I heard that you are in Hamamatsu and I decided to go there. Would you wait for me in your room?”
It sounded so stupid.
He didn’t know what to tell Jun when they met either. Maybe it was better to go out of the highway and return to Tokyo, but Sho kept on driving his car towards Hamamatsu. He and Jun had known each other for less than two months. They mostly talked about work, strawberries, Jun’s classes and Sho’s messed up love life. They never tried to get to know each other better, or rather Sho hid himself inside his own shell when what he really wanted was to get close to Jun, to spend the whole day together talking about random things.
Those four hours seemed the longest ride in Sho’s life. Jun was the only one he could think about along the way. It was almost like magic how Jun replaced Nino’s shadow in his mind. Jun told him not to be afraid to fall in love again. Maybe he could try.
Sho reached Hamamatsu at 11.30 in the evening., He needed around 20 minutes to find Jun’s hotel. By the time he parked his car at the public parking lot, it was already midnight. He got a hold of himself and prepared for the worst. If Jun wasn’t there, he would still have to spend a night at Hamamatsu and return to Tokyo by the morning – he wouldn't stay at Jun’s hotel though.
Sho headed towards the reception desk and asked the receptionist if there was any guest by the name Matsumoto Jun. He told the receptionist that he was a friend of Jun, and that he needed to see him urgently. He knew that he might seem suspicious: a man trying to get into someone else's hotel room at such a late hour.
“Please wait a moment.” The receptionist looked at him with a curious expression before making a phone call to Jun’s room. She tried three times.
“I'm afraid that Matsumoto san is already sleeping, or perhaps he isn’t in his room,” she told Sho with an apologetic smile.
“Thank you,” Sho said, trying to smile, but all he could produce was a stiff grin.
Sho headed towards the sofa at the lobby and slumped there, finally realizing how tired he was. He messaged his temple and closed his eyes for a while. Nino would probably make fun of him for a week if he found out what Sho had done. His eyelids were as heavy as steel, his shoulders hurt due to long hours driving and he was hungry as hell. He fished out the bread he stuffed in his bag and ate it, but he couldn’t taste it well.
The big clock on the hotel’s wall ticked loudly, reminding him how late it was and how empty the lobby was . Sho took another bite and gave up. He tossed the bread into his bag and rose off of the seat. He would try to find a hotel and take a rest. He could regret everything and laugh at himself later on.
Sho shouldered his bag and left the lobby. He glanced at his watch and shook his head. He had wasted too much time.
“Sho kun?”
Sho turned his head and saw Jun, the real Jun – flesh and blood. He had just come back. He was still in his suit, looking tired. He seemed surprised at first, but then he smiled at Sho. Sho couldn’t move. They stood there, staring at each other for a while without knowing what to say or do.
Jun finally moved closer to Sho.
“Sho kun, it’s such a surprise to see you here! Do you have some business to do in this city too? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Sho didn’t know what to answer. Jun assumed that he had some business here, of course he would think that way. What kind of an idiot would drive all the way from Tokyo to Hamamatsu for nothing?
“Er-, I…I came here to…” Sho lifted his head and met Jun’s questioning gaze.
“Are you staying in this hotel?”
Sho shook his head and bit his lower lip., “I came here to see you,” he said, feeling as if he had just dig his own graveyard.
Jun’s expression was hard to read. He looked amused and confused at the same time. He locked his gaze on Sho’s face and without any more words he gripped Sho’s hand and dragged him back inside the hotel.
“Wait, Jun, what are you…”
“You look like you’ll pass out anytime soon. You need a bed to sleep on,” Jun said, chuckling slightly.
“But…”
Jun didn’t give him any answer. He guided Sho towards the elevator and didn’t let go of Sho’s hand.
The elevator opened. Both of them got out and walked along the corridor towards Jun’s room. Sho looked at their intertwined hands and dared himself to squeeze Jun’s hand a little. Jun squeezed back, and that was enough to calm Sho’s nerves down.
Jun unlocked the room and gestured to Sho to enter. It wasn’t very large, but it was not that bad. The room was had a queen size bed, and Jun’s belongings were scattered on it. There was a small desk at the far corner; two cups and water heater were on top of it.
“Sorry, it’s so messy.” Jun pointed at the bed. “You must be tired. Do you want some coffee?” Jun asked while taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat stand. Sho did the same.
“No- I mean yes, maybe a cup of coffee will be a good idea.”
Jun smiled and gestured to Sho to have a seat at the arm chair beside the bed while he turned on the water heater to prepare the coffee. It gave Sho time to arrange his thoughts.
“Sho kun, did you miss me?” Jun asked.
Sho looked at Jun's back. He gulped and mumbled the answer.
“I think it would be a lie if I said no,” Sho said, rising from the chair and moving to where Jun was standing.
Jun turned around and gave him a soft smile. “Here,” Jun handed him the coffee cup, “I’m so happy to see you here! It seems unreal.”
"I'm happy to be here too," Sho replied.
Jun sat down on the edge of the bed, seemingly waiting for Sho to join him – which Sho did, just a minute later.
The room fell into silence. Sho could hear his own loud heartbeat going out of control. He sipped the coffee and let its warmth rush to his body.
Jun put his coffee cup on the side table and placed his hand on Sho’s.
“Sho kun, do you like me?”
Sho gasped and moved his gaze to the coffee cup in his right hand. Slowly, he nodded. “I don’t know if I’m the right person for you, but…”
Jun rested his head on his shoulder and placed one of his hand on Sho’s waist, “Are you always like this? You don't seem very confident in yourself. You’re a good-looking guy, you know.”
“I…you’re exaggerating,” Sho mumbled.
Jun lifted his head and looked at Sho’s lips. They were too close. Sho could feel Jun’s breath on his skin. He didn’t give it a second thought as he leaned closer and kissed Jun’s lips. They were soft and warm. The anxiety he felt earlier dissipated as he gave in to the kiss.
They parted and looked into each other’s eyes. Sho knew that he had done the right thing. He put his cup on the side table beside Jun’s and held Jun's hand afterward.
“Are you okay with this?” Sho asked.
“I would have kicked you out already if I wasn't okay with this.” Jun leaned closer to give him another kiss on the lips.
Sho couldn’t think straight when Jun kissed him as if there was no tomorrow. It was different compared to any kisses he had before. Jun slipped his tongue into Sho's mouth and kept him still as Sho tried to pull away.
Sho felt himself getting hard. Jun seemed reluctant to stop, his hands slipping under Sho’s shirt, and that was when Sho pulled himself away with a little bit force. Jun looked at him with bewildered expression, but he managed to smile weakly at Sho.
“I’m sorry. I should have taken it slower,” Jun shifted further.
“No! I… I didn’t mean to push you away. I'm just… I guess I'm nervous.” Sho shook his head and tried to hide his erection.
“I need to take a shower,” Jun said, climbing down the bed and unbuttoning his shirt. “I’ll be very quick.”
He disappeared towards the bathroom, leaving Sho with his half-erection and regret. Jun was naked and within his reach. He could enter the bathroom and make love to him. Sho shook his head in order to push the thoughts away, but instead of that his cock hardened more than before.
He took a deep breath and stood up from the bed. There was no need to overthink things now. He reached the bathroom handle and pushed it open. Jun hadn't locked it as if knowing that Sho would get in. Jun's naked body was fantastic; his skin was flawless; the muscular arms were perfect. It was as if every crook and canny of his body had been sculpted with the utmost care by an artist.
The water from the shower poured over Jun's head, down to his body. Jun’s abs were mesmerizing. Below it, Sho could see the thick pubic hair covering Jun’s half-hardened cock.
They looked at each other for a while Sho was taking off his clothes. He joined Jun under the shower, capturing the man’s lips with his. Jun’s arms circled around his neck, inviting Sho to touch him more. It felt like paradise as they enjoyed each other’s body. It wasn’t Sho’s first time to have sex with a man, but Jun was different. He was one of a kind, his body was wonderland and when Sho came inside him, he knew that there was no turning back.
***
PART 1
PART 3
The yoghurt they made with the strawberries from Jun and Aiba's farm was as delicious as always. Ohno even commented that the current production was tastier. Sho had sent a few bottles to Jun and Aiba. Both of them thanked him by sending him pictures of themselves enjoying the yoghurt at the hut.
Sho looked at Jun’s expression. His smile was too bright. He ended up looking at Jun’s lips. How it would feel to kiss those lips? He didn't have time to think about that. He had a meeting with his team and he needed to concentrate.
Nino was waiting at the meeting room when Sho entered. He had prepared the projector and had delivered the copies on the desk.
“Ohchan likes the new yoghurts’ taste,” Nino said.
“Ohchan?” Sho raised his eyebrows.
“Ohno kun.” Nino rolled his eyes. “By the way, I’m getting married by the end of this month.”
Sho almost choked on the water he was drinking. He looked at Nino as if it was the first time he actually saw him. Nino would be getting married to someone else. It sounded so wrong to Sho. He couldn't let that happen.
“You can’t marry him,” Sho said, not even giving himself time to think of the proper words to say.
“Excuse me?” Nino said, looking offended. Usually, Nino would answer casually, but this time he looked serious and perhaps a little bit angry. “I’m free to marry anyone I like, you have no business with my life.”
Sho wanted to apologize for his stupidity, but his tongue was tied. Nino angrily turned on the computer and sat down on the chair. He was extremely silent from the moment the others arrived and the meeting started. Sho wanted to kick himself for saying what he said. He should have just congratulated Nino and told him that he was happy for him, even if it was a lie.
Sho didn’t know why he had turned into a moron recently. Actually, he did. He was bitter about being dumped, especially after Nino got a new boyfriend in what he perceived as a very short time. And while he was still hurting, Nino was planning to get married! With a guy who was obviously a better match than Sho for him – Sho had to admit that much – no less! It made Sho feel terrible, enough to react like that to Nino's news.
Sho's phone rang. It was the last person he expected to call him in such a moment.
“Ohno san, nice to hear from you, how may I assist you?” Sho tried to suppress the bitterness in his tone.
“Hi, Sho kun. I just wanted to tell you that your new yoghurts have been sold out, and I wonder if you could re-stock this week.” Ohno’s tone was cheerful – well, it wasn't strange, knowing that Ohno's business was running smoothly and he would be getting married soon.
“Oh, about that,” Sho hadn’t checked the strawberries supplies and he couldn’t promise Ohno the same amount of yoghurt if Jun’s farm couldn’t provide all the strawberries they needed. “Let me check, Ohno san. I’ll call you back right away.”
“Okay,” Ohno answered. An odd silence fell between them afterwards. “Is Nino there with you?”
“No,” Sho replied immediately, “he’s not here.”
“When you see him, please tell him to reply my LINE,” Ohno said.
Sho rolled his eyes. What was he now, Nino and Ohno’s errands boy?
“I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you. I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Bye, Sho kun.”
Ohno hung up, but Sho needed a few seconds to pull away his phone off his ear. It was weird, doing business with his ex’s new boyfriend, and he simply could do nothing to get them away from his life. Sho felt that he was trapped in a big cage. He wanted to be free from his agony, to forget all of this.
He rose off his chair and went to the storage room at the basement to check the strawberry stock. I It seemed enough for three more days of production, so he still had time to pay another visit to the farm. He called Ohno’s secretary to inform him of the re-stock possibility and headed out. He planned to have lunch outside of the office in order to improve his chaotic mood a bit.
He drove towards the shopping mall near the station and went to eat okonomiyaki. It had been ages since he had lunch here. He always bought a lunch box from the convenience store on his way to the office and ate it on his desk while working. The restaurant was crowded, Sho needed to queue for a while. He was flipping the menu to choose what he should have when somebody patted his shoulder from behind.
He turned around and found Jun. He almost didn’t recognize the man in his office attire. Jun’s hair was nicely combed, and he wore glasses which perfectly fit his face. His simple shirt didn’t hide his handsome figure, on the opposite, it showed Jun’s elegant side.
“Hi,” Jun said, smiling widely at Sho.
“Jun.” Sho didn’t know why, but he blushed all of a sudden. “Hi.”
“Would you share a table with me? It will reduce the queue,” Jun suggested.
Sho mumbled his agreement and told the waiter to prepare the table for two persons. Meeting Jun was the last thing he wanted when he was in such a chaotic mood, but it was a pure coincidence. He couldn’t just leave and find another place to have lunch though – it would offend Jun.
The same waiter gestured to them to enter and guided them to the table. Both of them made their order and waited for the food to be served. Sho looked at anywhere but Jun. He felt anxious.
“Sho kun, are you okay?” Jun asked.
“Er-, yes, I’m okay,” Sho said, drinking the water nervously.
“You seem upset. What happened?”
Sho wanted to tell Jun about Nino’s upcoming wedding and how it had sent him to the rock bottom, but he couldn’t say a thing. He kept silent while shaking his head. Jun seemed to give up on the topic, although he still eyed Sho with a worried expression. They continued talking about other things as they waited for their food.
“Can I visit your company?” Jun asked out of the blue.
“Don't you have work?” Sho asked.
“I’ve finished my classes for the day and I can return later to the farm.”
“There’s nothing interesting in my factory,” Sho said, trying to make an excuse. “You’d be stinking by the time you left.”
“It’s fine.” Jun waved his hand.
Sho smiled for the first time at Jun that afternoon. They ended up talking about their love life. Jun had dated a few men, but his relationships ended up either because of cheating or long distance. Sho couldn’t believe there was someone who cheated on Jun.
Sho told Jun about Nino – how their relationship ended for reasons Sho couldn’t understand, or rather accept.
“You need to give yourself another chance,” Jun said, cutting the okonomiyaki as their orders arrived. The aroma fulfilled the air. Sho’s empty stomach already craved for food. He cut his okonomiyaki with more strength than needed.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t need to be afraid to fall in love again,” Jun said lightly. “Or you can just pity yourself for as long as you like, until you realize that Ninomiya kun is not going to be with you again, as simple as that,” he shrugged.
“It’s easier said than done,” Sho replied. “I mean, you’re right, but I don't think I can do that now,” he said, noticing a strange expression crossing Jun’s face.
They continued lunch in silence. Sho thought that Jun wouldn’t talk to him again that day, but he returned to his normal mood when they headed together to Sho’s factory in Sho's car. He told Sho about his class, which mostly consisted of "nerdy students"; none of them seemed interested in what was going on in this world, aside from their classes.
“They don’t even watch movies,” Jun said, shaking his head. “I doubt any of them even thinks about having a relationship with someone.”
“I think I was one of those students back then,” Sho said. He recalled how nerdy he was when he was still in university. All he cared about was studying, joining seminar and writing thick paper. “Really? You don’t look like one.” Jun turned to look at him as if trying to find any signs of Sho's nerdy side.
“I wasn’t popular at all,” Sho said. “I’m not proud of it.”
“So, how did you change?” Jun asked.
Sho didn’t answer. Nino was the one who changed him, or rather he decided to change because of Nino. Nino never pushed him to change his appearance, but Sho knew he had to change if he wanted to have a date with Nino. They were very different. When they met for the first time, Nino was dating someone five years older than him. That guy was Sho's complete opposite, so Sho thought he didn't stand a chance, not even after Nino got dumped by him. It had taken all of Sho’s bravery to ask Nino out. His heart almost exploded when they kissed for the first time.
“Nino told me about you,” Jun said, snapping Sho out of his reverie. “He told me that you were so kind.”
Sho snorted. He was sure that ‘kind’ was just Nino's polite way to say that he was ‘tame’. He waited for Jun to continue, but Jun didn't add anything else. He simply continued driving, lost in his thoughts once again.
They reached the factory some minutes later. Both of them got out of the car and walked towards the entrance.
“My office is in the second floor,” Sho said, leading the way.
Jun nodded and followed him. When they met Nino at the stairs, Nino greeted them happily, his eyes fixed on Jun with a curious look. Then he just winked at Jun and climbed down the stairs.
“I can’t believe that he’s getting married by the end of this month,” Sho mumbled, more to himself than Jun.
“No wonder he looks like he's glowing.” Jun chuckled.
“His future husband is our business partner, a man named Ohno Satoshi,” Sho said, deciding to tell Jun because he couldn’t think of another topic to talk about.
“Ohno kun?” Jun raised his eyebrow.
“You know him?” Sho asked.
“We got our Master Degree at the same university. We happened to meet up at the library in a regular basis and became friends. He’s a smart guy,” Jun said. “He told me that he would be getting married, but I didn't know that his fiancé was Ninomiya kun.”
“Well… it's a small world.” Sho shrugged. “Would you like something to drink?”
Jun shook his head and took a seat on the sofa, his eyes wandering around the office. He stopped when his gaze met with Sho. This time Sho didn’t avert his gaze. He looked into Jun’s beautiful eyes, trying to read what was Jun thinking.
“We could go together to their wedding,” Jun said all of a sudden as if it was the most normal thing to do.
“I-I…don’t…”
Sho knew that he had said something wrong. He bit his lower lip, wanting to take back what he had just said, but Jun told him that it was okay if Sho didn’t want to go. Then he asked Sho to show him around the yoghurt production facilities. It seemed he didn't want to resume their talk about Nino and Ohno’s wedding.
“Thanks for today, Sho kun. I have to return to work now,” Jun said, bowing slightly at Sho. He declined Sho's offer to drive him back to his workplace.
Sho watched as Jun left. He felt stupid for turning down Jun’s invitation. He was so lost on his thoughts that he was startled when Nino patted his shoulder from behind.
“He’s very good looking. And he's also a really nice guy, you know,” Nino said.
“Yeah.”
“He likes you,” Nino added.
“Nino, are you making fun of me?”
Nino laughed and shook his head. “Poor Jun kun! He’s in love with an idiot. I pity him.”
“In love?”
Nino didn’t answer. He had already left in direction to the storage room, leaving Sho with too many things to think about.
***
Jun wasn’t at his farm when Sho went there the following week. Aiba mentioned that Jun had something to take care of outside of town and wouldn't be back until next Sunday. Disappointed, Sho picked strawberries all alone (Nino hadn't gone with him because of his wedding preparation).
Sho couldn’t believe his bad luck. He had gone there with the intention to meet Jun and invite him for a drink. He had come to a decision to give himself a chance. He had concluded that what he felt for Jun was more than just wanting to become friends.
It was hard for him to understand his own feelings after Nino broke up with him. He didn’t even realize that Jun was interested in him, romantically. Jun was probably disappointed when Sho turned him down. Sho took a deep breath and continued picking strawberries without any enthusiasm.
He kept thinking about his situation, realizing that whatever chance he had of being with Jun would slip away unless he took the initiative. Wasn't that what happened with Nino? Maybe the reason Nino called him 'tame' back then was exactly that: he hardly ever made the first step, aside from that time he asked Nino out.
But what could he do about Jun? Was there anything to do at all? They hadn't even started dating and it seemed he had already messed up.
Sho returned to the company that night and had his staff take care of the strawberries. He felt tired. He needed to see Jun tonight. He knew that he would regret it if he couldn’t talk to Jun. He called Aiba to ask him about Jun’s whereabouts. Aiba didn’t question his motives and gave Sho the address of Jun's hotel, wishing him good luck.
Jun was attending a seminar in Hamamatsu. It was quite a long distance. It took about four hours by car. Sho knew that what he was about to do was stupid – perhaps the most stupid thing he had ever done. He poured coffee into the tumbler, stuffed some bread into his bag, grabbed his jacket, and headed towards the parking lot. It was 7 in the evening. Jun would probably be sleeping by the time he reached Hamamatsu, but it would be enough if he was at the same place.
Sho put on his jacket as he climbed down the stairs.; Aiba had mentioned that Jun probably paid a visit to one of his professors’ house tonight, so there might be a chance Sho could catch him awake depending on how late he returned to the hotel.
Sho got in his car and started the engine. When he entered the highway, he realized the flaws of his 'plan' to meet Jun at the hotel. What if Jun chose to stay over at the professor’s place? What if the seminar had ended faster and Jun had returned to Tokyo? What if he was there with another man?
He should have called beforehand to tell Jun that he was heading to Hamamatsu, but what would have he said?
“Hi, Jun, I heard that you are in Hamamatsu and I decided to go there. Would you wait for me in your room?”
It sounded so stupid.
He didn’t know what to tell Jun when they met either. Maybe it was better to go out of the highway and return to Tokyo, but Sho kept on driving his car towards Hamamatsu. He and Jun had known each other for less than two months. They mostly talked about work, strawberries, Jun’s classes and Sho’s messed up love life. They never tried to get to know each other better, or rather Sho hid himself inside his own shell when what he really wanted was to get close to Jun, to spend the whole day together talking about random things.
Those four hours seemed the longest ride in Sho’s life. Jun was the only one he could think about along the way. It was almost like magic how Jun replaced Nino’s shadow in his mind. Jun told him not to be afraid to fall in love again. Maybe he could try.
Sho reached Hamamatsu at 11.30 in the evening., He needed around 20 minutes to find Jun’s hotel. By the time he parked his car at the public parking lot, it was already midnight. He got a hold of himself and prepared for the worst. If Jun wasn’t there, he would still have to spend a night at Hamamatsu and return to Tokyo by the morning – he wouldn't stay at Jun’s hotel though.
Sho headed towards the reception desk and asked the receptionist if there was any guest by the name Matsumoto Jun. He told the receptionist that he was a friend of Jun, and that he needed to see him urgently. He knew that he might seem suspicious: a man trying to get into someone else's hotel room at such a late hour.
“Please wait a moment.” The receptionist looked at him with a curious expression before making a phone call to Jun’s room. She tried three times.
“I'm afraid that Matsumoto san is already sleeping, or perhaps he isn’t in his room,” she told Sho with an apologetic smile.
“Thank you,” Sho said, trying to smile, but all he could produce was a stiff grin.
Sho headed towards the sofa at the lobby and slumped there, finally realizing how tired he was. He messaged his temple and closed his eyes for a while. Nino would probably make fun of him for a week if he found out what Sho had done. His eyelids were as heavy as steel, his shoulders hurt due to long hours driving and he was hungry as hell. He fished out the bread he stuffed in his bag and ate it, but he couldn’t taste it well.
The big clock on the hotel’s wall ticked loudly, reminding him how late it was and how empty the lobby was . Sho took another bite and gave up. He tossed the bread into his bag and rose off of the seat. He would try to find a hotel and take a rest. He could regret everything and laugh at himself later on.
Sho shouldered his bag and left the lobby. He glanced at his watch and shook his head. He had wasted too much time.
“Sho kun?”
Sho turned his head and saw Jun, the real Jun – flesh and blood. He had just come back. He was still in his suit, looking tired. He seemed surprised at first, but then he smiled at Sho. Sho couldn’t move. They stood there, staring at each other for a while without knowing what to say or do.
Jun finally moved closer to Sho.
“Sho kun, it’s such a surprise to see you here! Do you have some business to do in this city too? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Sho didn’t know what to answer. Jun assumed that he had some business here, of course he would think that way. What kind of an idiot would drive all the way from Tokyo to Hamamatsu for nothing?
“Er-, I…I came here to…” Sho lifted his head and met Jun’s questioning gaze.
“Are you staying in this hotel?”
Sho shook his head and bit his lower lip., “I came here to see you,” he said, feeling as if he had just dig his own graveyard.
Jun’s expression was hard to read. He looked amused and confused at the same time. He locked his gaze on Sho’s face and without any more words he gripped Sho’s hand and dragged him back inside the hotel.
“Wait, Jun, what are you…”
“You look like you’ll pass out anytime soon. You need a bed to sleep on,” Jun said, chuckling slightly.
“But…”
Jun didn’t give him any answer. He guided Sho towards the elevator and didn’t let go of Sho’s hand.
The elevator opened. Both of them got out and walked along the corridor towards Jun’s room. Sho looked at their intertwined hands and dared himself to squeeze Jun’s hand a little. Jun squeezed back, and that was enough to calm Sho’s nerves down.
Jun unlocked the room and gestured to Sho to enter. It wasn’t very large, but it was not that bad. The room was had a queen size bed, and Jun’s belongings were scattered on it. There was a small desk at the far corner; two cups and water heater were on top of it.
“Sorry, it’s so messy.” Jun pointed at the bed. “You must be tired. Do you want some coffee?” Jun asked while taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat stand. Sho did the same.
“No- I mean yes, maybe a cup of coffee will be a good idea.”
Jun smiled and gestured to Sho to have a seat at the arm chair beside the bed while he turned on the water heater to prepare the coffee. It gave Sho time to arrange his thoughts.
“Sho kun, did you miss me?” Jun asked.
Sho looked at Jun's back. He gulped and mumbled the answer.
“I think it would be a lie if I said no,” Sho said, rising from the chair and moving to where Jun was standing.
Jun turned around and gave him a soft smile. “Here,” Jun handed him the coffee cup, “I’m so happy to see you here! It seems unreal.”
"I'm happy to be here too," Sho replied.
Jun sat down on the edge of the bed, seemingly waiting for Sho to join him – which Sho did, just a minute later.
The room fell into silence. Sho could hear his own loud heartbeat going out of control. He sipped the coffee and let its warmth rush to his body.
Jun put his coffee cup on the side table and placed his hand on Sho’s.
“Sho kun, do you like me?”
Sho gasped and moved his gaze to the coffee cup in his right hand. Slowly, he nodded. “I don’t know if I’m the right person for you, but…”
Jun rested his head on his shoulder and placed one of his hand on Sho’s waist, “Are you always like this? You don't seem very confident in yourself. You’re a good-looking guy, you know.”
“I…you’re exaggerating,” Sho mumbled.
Jun lifted his head and looked at Sho’s lips. They were too close. Sho could feel Jun’s breath on his skin. He didn’t give it a second thought as he leaned closer and kissed Jun’s lips. They were soft and warm. The anxiety he felt earlier dissipated as he gave in to the kiss.
They parted and looked into each other’s eyes. Sho knew that he had done the right thing. He put his cup on the side table beside Jun’s and held Jun's hand afterward.
“Are you okay with this?” Sho asked.
“I would have kicked you out already if I wasn't okay with this.” Jun leaned closer to give him another kiss on the lips.
Sho couldn’t think straight when Jun kissed him as if there was no tomorrow. It was different compared to any kisses he had before. Jun slipped his tongue into Sho's mouth and kept him still as Sho tried to pull away.
Sho felt himself getting hard. Jun seemed reluctant to stop, his hands slipping under Sho’s shirt, and that was when Sho pulled himself away with a little bit force. Jun looked at him with bewildered expression, but he managed to smile weakly at Sho.
“I’m sorry. I should have taken it slower,” Jun shifted further.
“No! I… I didn’t mean to push you away. I'm just… I guess I'm nervous.” Sho shook his head and tried to hide his erection.
“I need to take a shower,” Jun said, climbing down the bed and unbuttoning his shirt. “I’ll be very quick.”
He disappeared towards the bathroom, leaving Sho with his half-erection and regret. Jun was naked and within his reach. He could enter the bathroom and make love to him. Sho shook his head in order to push the thoughts away, but instead of that his cock hardened more than before.
He took a deep breath and stood up from the bed. There was no need to overthink things now. He reached the bathroom handle and pushed it open. Jun hadn't locked it as if knowing that Sho would get in. Jun's naked body was fantastic; his skin was flawless; the muscular arms were perfect. It was as if every crook and canny of his body had been sculpted with the utmost care by an artist.
The water from the shower poured over Jun's head, down to his body. Jun’s abs were mesmerizing. Below it, Sho could see the thick pubic hair covering Jun’s half-hardened cock.
They looked at each other for a while Sho was taking off his clothes. He joined Jun under the shower, capturing the man’s lips with his. Jun’s arms circled around his neck, inviting Sho to touch him more. It felt like paradise as they enjoyed each other’s body. It wasn’t Sho’s first time to have sex with a man, but Jun was different. He was one of a kind, his body was wonderland and when Sho came inside him, he knew that there was no turning back.
***
PART 1
PART 3
